THE LIVING ROOM PITCH — I have a confession here. I am not much of a soccer fan, but not for the reasons you think.
It's not because I think it's a silly sport or can't understand why there is an entire game where we decided to ignore the wonderful gift of hands. No, the reason I don't like soccer that much is because I can't play it.
When it comes to soccer, I am absolutely atrocious. I'm not very athletic, to begin with, but then ask me to be coordinated with my feet and I turn into a three-legged turtle with vertigo and an iron deficiency.
My embarrassment over my complete lack of ability at soccer has only become worse now that I've seen this video of a cat who is possibly the greatest goalie I've ever seen.
Meet Meownuel Neuer, named after one of the greatest goalies to ever live: Manuel Neuer. The human Neuer plays for FC Bayern Munich and the German National team. The feline Neuer plays in his living room with his human, Chris Dixon.
Knew naming him Meownuel Neuer was a mistake pic.twitter.com/w3MrwH5Opn— Chris Dixon (@chrismd10) May 18, 2020
Dixon posted this video of him trying to score a goal on Meownuel only to be denied time and time again. No matter what shot Dixon took, Meownuel was there to block the shot. I don't know if that little ball was laced with catnip or if that kitty just really hates round objects, but Dixon did not score one goal.
Well, unfortunately, I've learned this cat isn't quite as athletic as I thought. It turns out this video is a fake. In fact, Dixon did a whole week's worth of videos that were faked, including this one.
But I'm not really feeling any better about this.
I now realize that instead of not being able to play soccer like this cat, Dixon is making a ton of money off of his editing skills while I'm writing absurd articles about his awesomeness.
Well done, Chris, the video is legit. And even if Meownuel isn't the goalie of the century, it's still a fun video.