THE BOOGEY BATTLEFIELD — During my tenure at the Have You Seen This? section, I've covered the arrival of our robot overlords before, but never has their progress been as devastating as this.
In a newly-released video taking the internet by storm, the robots have proven once and for all that they're better than us not only at math and scientific calculations, but something far more creative and traditionally "human": dancing.
It's no secret that a lot of people can't dance. I've been to stake dances and high school prom. There's always a kid or two who can breakdance and bring up the curve, but to the rest of us who have two left feet ... yikes.
The competition between the average human and robot was not as fierce as we might like to pretend to pad our egos, but to be so wholly eviscerated by our incoming robotic overlords is a hard blow to take.
These robots have style, slick rhythm, and are having the most fun their circuits can allow — in other words, the opposite of most awkward school girls like me who trip over their heels and nearly twirl into the punchbowl.
As a superior encroaching technology made of metal and gears, the robots don't have to worry about social distancing as they drop their sick moves, either. Take a look!
Boston Dynamics claims the leaked footage of our robot overlords is actually just a message to commemorate the end of a difficult 2020, as the video description reads, "Our whole crew got together to celebrate the start of what we hope will be a happier year: Happy New Year from all of us at Boston Dynamics." But I see through that and I know dancing robots are coming to steal humanity's biggest cultural staples: TikTok dances, Elvis Presley's signature moves, and the moonwalk.
So goodbye to a year that can't end soon enough, and hello to our robot tango partners. If humans want to regain our crown as king of the groovy dancers, I guess we need to hit the dancefloor. With such an occasion worth celebrating, I can't imagine a dance is too far away from any of our hearts.