THE MOST IMPORTANT BOARD MEETING EVER — With sports in a confusing state of suspension, everyone is turning to come up with creative solutions.
The Korean and Taiwanese baseball leagues have begun playing to empty stadiums as U.S. football teams eye consolidating into a conference-only season and other major sports leagues consider their options. Television networks are even replaying old games in an attempt to recreate a sense of normalcy.
Amidst this chaos, many sports journalists are figuring out creative new coverage angles. Personally, I think the BBC’s Andrew Cotter has found the perfect solution: commentating on his dogs.
First, we can appreciate the tongue-in-cheek seriousness of this whole affair, and how well he knows his duo of dogs. I would like all sports from now on to include Olive and Mable as competitors, no questions asked. I want them on the medal stand at the next Olympics, running to second base at Fenway Park, and standing as goalies at the World Cup.
After an intense day of competition, however, Cotter isn’t done just yet. He brings the pups in for an obligatory performance review meeting, and he has a lot of opinions.
First, he’s happy to tell his friends they aren’t fur-loughed, but then the digital shenanigans begin. If you thought managing your elementary-schooler on Zoom education was difficult, Mable will bring things to a whole new level.
Olive, by contrast, has earned her annual bonus of being called a good dog. But Mable looks more than happy with her conciliatory chew toy. Cotter attempts to reign in his rambunctious and difficult worker only to realize Mable’s gone. Despite this flagrant insubordination, Mable’s impressive “results” keep her on the sports network for another day.