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CHIMPTOWN — We all need somebody to lean on. That person is usually not a chimpanzee, but who am I to judge?
On the other hand, I know plenty of people whose intelligence and common sense seem to be on par with monkeys. If chimpanzees can be as gentle and caring as this one, I might prefer their friendship over a few humans.
This video seals the deal. Civilization is overrated and mean. You can catch me crying on this chimpanzee’s shoulder and playing in its treehouse. No stress allowed; toys and happy thoughts only.
My midterm exams and gas bill are just too much, and I’m ready to abandon you all to become Tarzan 2.0.
Not only is this chimp a perfect line leader who’s ready to take me on an adventure, but it will also help me up when my stubby human legs get in the way? This is what true solidarity and love look like.
And the primate will top it off with an adorable and very chill fist bump? Sign me up for a lifetime of cool secret handshakes with animals and I will never bother you again. Take your air conditioning, clothes and crippling responsibilities, and leave me alone in my happy place.
I want monkey cuddles, finger painting, bananas, and treehouses. Goodbye world, and hello Chimptown.
Have You Seen This?
Kaitlyn Workman is a University of Utah political science and mass communications major. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org