THE BUCKS — I'm not sure what it is these days, but it seems every food and beverage establishment has to have insane names for things and be really loud when they call out orders or make a big deal about certain things.
I'm looking at you, Cafe Rio.
For those who are unaware, which is probably no one at this point, the Cafe Rio staff like to yell out "free meal" whenever someone earns, well, a free meal. I'm guessing pretty much most of you know this already because in order to be considered a resident in good standing with Utah anymore, I'm pretty sure you have to have the Cafe Rio app on your phone and your car must constantly smell like sweet pork.
Then are times these "traditions" can come back to bite you. For instance, a friend of mine was at Cafe Rio once and the place was packed — meaning it was a regular old Tuesday. As he stood in line with about a third of Utah's population, a woman near him got sick and threw up in the middle of the line. Thankfully he avoided becoming collateral damage. He wasn't totally sure what to do, so in a moment of panic he yelled out "FREE MEAL!" And right on cue, the well-trained staff bellowed back, "FREE MEAL!"
His wife wasn't terribly happy with him, nor was the woman who fell ill — or that's my assumption at least. But when it comes down to it, it wasn't my friend's fault; it was the restaurant's. My friend had just been well-trained.
Starbucks loves to call out not only the name given on the order but also exactly what that person ordered. Look, Starbucks, I don't need to know that Karalee ordered a venti, half-caf, double macchiato with a quarter cream, two witches spells, a two-year unlimited phone plan, and a timeshare in Maui with a dash of cinnamon. Just call out the name.
Whoever ordered this drink not only made sure to put down the most obnoxious name ever but also made the greatest drink order of all time. I'll let you watch for yourself.
And remember, FREE MEAL!