Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes

This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replaying the story in its archived form does not constitute a republication of the story.

SPITEFUL NATURAL PHENOMENONS ANONYMOUS — Sometimes things happen by accident. Sometimes you can chalk things up to bad timing, and sometimes it's just because someone or something wants to be a jerk.

A perfect example: I'm not proud of what happened in high school. I was eating lunch in the cafeteria with some friends. My good friend Jeff was sitting right across from me and enjoying his sandwich. It looked like a good one, too. I was eating a banana and, for some reason, I became fixated on watching him eat this sandwich.

I'd like to say what I did next was out of jealousy for how good his sandwich looked because that would be a better excuse than the truth. What I did next, I did just because I felt like it at that moment, even though I knew it was a jerk move.

Without warning or merit, I smashed the banana in Jeff's face. Just right in the smack dab center. I'm not sure he ever forgave me for that. I'm not positive I even asked for forgiveness.

I'm a monster.

I bring this up because I relate to what happened in this video in Japan.

In February, a 7.3 magnitude earthquake hit Japan. It caused damage, blackouts and some minor injuries. Scientists will tell you it was a natural phenomenon that just happened, but I don't buy it. I think it's because the earthquake just wanted to be a jerk.

My theory is that the earthquake saw the person who shot this video had just drawn a bath and was about to enjoy a wonderful, relaxing soak and was like, "Not on my watch." Boom, 7.3 magnitude earthquake to throw that hot bathwater all over your fancy floors.

The earthquake didn't have a good reason and I don't condone its actions, but I've been there. But mine only ruined a lunch, a friendship and a perfectly good banana. This earthquake is a way bigger jerk, causing millions of dollars of damage and blackouts.

Not cool, earthquake. Not cool.