Walibi Holland, YouTube

Have You Seen This? The teddy bear roller coaster

By John Clyde, KSL.com Contributor | Posted - Jun. 9, 2020 at 4:14 p.m.

THE COASTER — I have a complicated relationship with roller coasters and teddy bears. I both love and fear them.

The teddy bears are easy to explain if you've ever read any of my bear articles. While the stuffed animals may look cute and cuddly, they are actually war tactic from real live bears that are plotting the bearpocaplyse. They get the human's guard down thinking bears are wonderful, snuggly companions to lull us into a state of ignorance on the ferocious nature of the bear. But they are adorable, too.

Roller coasters are a little different. I love roller coasters, but my body doesn't always agree. Here's an example for you: In college, I went to Six Flags over in Texas with a girl I was dating. I was excited about all the rides, and there was one roller coaster called Goliath that we both couldn't wait to get on. Goliath is over 230 feet tall and hits speeds up to 85 mph.

It was a hot day and I had not eaten anything in at least a few hours, which is a big deal for me. We got on Goliath, and toward the end of the ride there is a spot where the coaster goes in circles and you pull up 4.5 Gs. When we hit this spot, I could see everything starting to go black. I knew I was about to pass out but my brain was fighting me saying, "You can't pass out in front of this girl. You're trying to impress her, you coward." I fought through it, barely stayed conscious, and got off the ride.

We walked out and she said, "Wasn't that amazing?!" I agreed with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

Then she saw that the line was short and asked, "Should we go again?"

"Of course," I said.

It may be the most believable lie I've ever told. We hit that spot on the ride and the edges of my vision started going black once again, and by a sheer miracle I stayed conscious — but just barely.

We got off the ride, she asked if we should go again and I suggested we get something to eat instead.

Long story short: I love roller coasters, but my body isn't always up for it.

If you're curious, that relationship didn't work out. I'm not saying it was because of the roller coaster experience, but I'm also not saying it's not because of that. Maybe I should get some closure?

Now you can appreciate the really mixed feelings I have about this video. The teddy bears are throwing me off and I want to ride the coaster, but my mind is reminding me that the lifeless movements of those bears on this empty coaster look very much like myself fighting to stay conscious on Goliath.

Why did Walibi Holland put a bunch of teddy bears on a roller coaster? Probably to let people know that they can come back for some fun, and in the meantime these bears will enjoy the rides for them. Or, maybe they just wanted to mess with my psyche and resurface some repressed memories and feelings.

Either way, I can't stop watching this video. But it's likely for different reasons than you.

Have You Seen This?

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