SAN QUENTIN, Calif. — Going to daddy-daughter dances, activities and mini "date nights" was one of the absolute highlights of my childhood. I adored picking a cute dress, buying my dad a boutonniere and hitting the town.
My dad always let me dance on his toes and sing the songs as loudly as I wanted. But, for many children with incarcerated parents, the magic of those moments is never felt.
San Quentin Rehabilitation Center, located in central California, recently hosted a one-of-a-kind daddy-daughter dance for the children of the inmates. Videos of the event left me in tears, watching fathers embrace their children, many of whom they haven't met or seen in years.
Sixteen inmate fathers got to see their children and take them to a special evening filled with dancing, dinner, tears and love. The video shows their children running into their arms, eager to see them and connect with their dads.
As the video shows, for those who have met their fathers, this may have been one of the first times they have seen him outside of his inmate clothing. With the dads dressed to the nines in tuxedos, the dance allowed the families to have a bit of normalcy amid chaos.
Other videos of the event also show fathers reading personal letters to their daughters, ensuring them that regardless of the space that separates them, they will continue to have a bond and love between them.
The father-daughter dance took place at the end of an eight-week family communication program in which the men were involved. The program was created by Tam Steven Nguyen, who is also incarcerated. Having the dance serve as the capstone to the eight weeks encouraged the fathers to continue striving to become better and mend relationships that may have been severed.
The event reminded me not only of how lucky I am, but of how little we truly know about each other's stories. In the 15-minute-long documentary, the fathers all expressed extreme guilt and sorrow at not being a present figure in their daughters' lives. Many of their incarceration stints have isolated them from their children and punished their family as well as themselves.
We are all truly worth so much more than our worst mistake. Reuniting with their daughters, even for a few hours, may have been the push that some of the incarcerated individuals needed to continue their journey of rehabilitation.
To my dad and all dads out there, keep fighting and keep pushing forward. Your daughters look up to you more than you know.
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