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FISHINGTON — Sure, people keep fish as pets, but it’s not because they are known for being excellent playfellows.
In fact, my lifetime-acquired knowledge tells me fish are good for eating, keeping in tanks for decorating dentist’s offices and a little recreational fishing.
Additionally, from what little I know about fish (one Internet search), I would think that they would instinctually shy away from being pet or scheduling massages, because their immune system includes a slimy membrane to stave of parasites and germs. If that membrane gets rubbed off, it’s a huge hazard to a fish’s health.
So it blows my mind that this fish not only swims up to a human, but it seems to be enjoying the human contact. And it keeps coming back for more pets, even after it’s tossed away.
My 100 percent plausible, hole-less theories are as follows:
- The man petting the fish is a distant relative of Greek gods Triton and Poseidon, so he has the power to command one fish in the sea.
- The man learned a little too well from Ernie on Sesame Street about how to call fish.
- The fish is a loner who has finally found a friend.
- The fish has spent too much time on the Internet and wishes it were a cat.
