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SCARY TOWN — I know I'm restating this all the time, but I don't care. There are a lot of things that scare me: bears, water, bears, snakes, bears, cold, bears, ghosts, bears, baby dolls, bears, failure, bears, disappointing the sun god Ra and bears.
The list is even longer than that. You can now throw crocodiles and Australia on that list — yes, the entire country.
Let's start with Australia, shall we? I don't have anything against the Land Down Under. In fact, from the pictures I've seen, it looks like an incredibly gorgeous, diverse and unique land. I understand why people love it, but I'm just too much of a coward.
When throwing a snake out of your home, or needing a hardcover Webster's Dictionary with a thesaurus attached and the ability to bench-press 400 pounds to kill a spider is required on the regular, I just am not hardcore enough for this beautiful nation. In addition to sneaky snakes and bodybuilding spiders, you also have sharks, koalas (people call them koala bears and that's just too much for me) and crocodiles. Big, scary crocodiles and this video show why I am not cut out for the Gold Coast.
Quentin Roper was off the coast of Groote Eylandt, Australia, when he spotted this crocodile. Roper threw his drone into the air to get a closer look at the reptile. As the drone edged closer, the animal seemed to be OK with the voyeuristic technology. But right as it passed, the big predator leaped out of the water and tried to clamp the drone in its jaws. The croc just missed and the drone flew to safety, but my heart sure didn't. I think I need a doctor's checkup after watching this.
Crocodiles just hanging out and waiting to attack aren’t the only reason I'm not cut out for Australia, but I can't hang with how hardcore and cool Aussie's are.
"I spotted the saltwater crocodile about 70 meters from the boat, and it was heading straight for us," Roper said on the YouTube description. There's my first sign I don't fit in. If this thing was headed toward me, I'd panic and get to land, in the car, and on my way to the airport.
"I got the drone up as quickly as possible to have a closer look and that attack happened," Roper continued. "He or she kept hanging around after the incident, very interested in our little tinny and the drone. We kept filming and taking photos until the drone battery was nearly dead then I tried landing the drone in the boat and it just went crazy so I had to crash land it inside the boat otherwise we would've lost the drone & more importantly the footage. I knew we had some Epic footage, sometimes you have to take a risk to get the reward."
Wait! What was that? Take the risk to get the reward? Being within 70 meters of that animal was too much of a risk for me, but Roper’s not even talking about the crocodile; he's talking about losing the drone. That was the risk.
I can't. I just can't. I'm not cut out for this stuff. If you need me, I'll be in my basement with a can of Raid at a safe distance from any bodies of water.
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