Avoid the perils of prom night: how to keep your child safe

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SALT LAKE CITY — Prom night is often the event a teen looks forward to the most and the night a parent can dread the most. Parents will probably put hours into helping their child choose a dress or tuxedo to try on, mull over transportation and plan activities. But before teens are sent on their way, it’s crucial to spend a few minutes going over the most important part of their night out: their safety.

Know before they go

Teens need to supply a complete itinerary of their night out, which includes a complete list of names and phone numbers, allowing parents to make contact with the other parties in advance so they can find out if they’re on the same page where supervision, drinking and other issues are concerned. Hosting an after-prom party can solve many prom night worries. Education.com reiterates the importance of parents meeting their child’s prom date in advance and becoming acquainted with his/her parents.

The importance of play

Teens may exude a “know-it-all” attitude, but what they really want is to know what to say or do in high-risk situations. Parents should consider having a role-play session that will help reinforce the rules. What will they do if the rest of the group wants to “ditch” the plan and go someplace different? What should they say if drugs or alcohol are offered at the dance or party? If some other uncomfortable situation occurs, what can they say to be safe and still keep their “coolness” intact?

Arrive alive

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), alcohol contributes to as many as three out of every five traffic-accident deaths during prom and graduation weekends. There are other factors that can contribute as well.

Cellphones, iPods and other technological devices have catapulted our nation into a new age, perhaps faster than our brains can keep up. The NHTSA also says distraction-based accidents may account for as many as 25 percent of overall car crashes each year. While many states have laws against using cellphones while driving for teens, it's a parent's responsibility to stress their own rules.

A solution can be to have several couples go in on renting a limousine, or enlist the help of an older sibling or (gasp) even a parent. But parents should at least insist that whoever is driving have one year of solid driving experience, a good driving record, and that all passengers have access to seatbelts and use them.

Abstinence is the best policy

It’s important to be brutally honest with teens about the dangers of alcohol — not just how it impairs driving skills, but how, according to the Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault, it increases the prevalence of violence and sexual assault. Teens should always get their own soft drink at parties and never leave it unattended. Mood-altering chemicals can be tasteless and odorless. They should know that if at any point during the night they start to feel groggy or “silly” they need to call home immediately.

Issues on sexual matters should be discussed thoroughly as well. Prom night contains a perfect combination of factors that can lead to risky behavior. Teens, especially girls, need to be aware that it’s all right to say “no.” A nice dinner and limo ride doesn’t entitle their date to anything more than a peck on the cheek. Since teen boys can also feel the pressure to live up to their friends’ expectations, they may need a refresher course on gentlemanly conduct.

All good things must end

Even Cinderella had to be home on time. Denise Witmer, a counselor and published author who frequently answers questions about parenting on About.com, says teens need to have a curfew based on past behavior, but one that is fair. Parents can be generous on Prom night — after all, this is a special night — but don't need to be pushovers. Teens should be expected to call if there’s any reason for delay. And while all-nighters may be popular in certain areas (when teens stay out until 4:00 to 6:00 in the morning and have breakfast) parents should not feel pressured to give in to this demand.

Kim Grant has three novels published through Covenant Communications. She has also contributed to a variety of family-oriented magazines. Her website is at www.kcgrant.com.