Man convicted in Liberty Park murder 20 years ago seeks parole

Estimated read time: 4-5 minutes

SALT LAKE CITY — A man convicted of fatally stabbing another man at the Liberty Park drum circle 20 years ago is now seeking parole.

Joshua Jacobson, 22, was killed on April 3, 2005, at Liberty Park, 600 E. Harvey Milk Blvd. Darrell Ray Sturmer was convicted of murder and sentenced in 2006 to six years to life in prison.

On Tuesday, Sturmer, now 55, went before a member of the Utah Board of Pardons and Parole for the first time.

During his 50-minute hearing, Sturmer talked about his mindset 20 years ago and how he had already compiled a lengthy criminal record, how he was homeless at the time and had been "riding high blood-sugar" due to diabetes for years, and how his thinking then was simply about "survival."

"(I was) on the street, living hand to mouth, and my frame of mind was not very well," Sturmer told the board on Tuesday. "There wasn't a lot of higher-function thinking going on. ... (I) was just trying to stay warm, stay fed and stay numb. That's all of where I was."

On that day, a woman claimed that she had had a confrontation with Jacobson and that he was looking for her. While Sturmer says his friends tried to help the woman sneak away, he stayed behind.

"He (Jacobson) came over and confronted me, looking for the girl. And we exchanged words, they were not kindly words on either side," he said. "Neither one of us wanted to lose face or ground. … There was no empathetic thought for either one of us. We weren't trying to understand each other; it was just a confrontation."

Sturmer says they essentially puffed their chests at each other and "came to blows."

"He swung at me and I stabbed him, and that was the end of it," he recalled.

Today, Sturmer says there is no excuse for what he did.

"There's really nothing I can do, nothing really anyone can do, to get true justice — because he's dead and I'm alive," Sturmer said.

During Tuesday's hearing, Sturmer answered each of the board's questions directly while not trying to minimize what happened. He acknowledged that some in the public might look at his criminal history and question why things would be different this time if he is granted parole.

"I grew up in the system from, like, a very young age. Started hanging out with the wrong kids, started getting in trouble at 10 years old," he said. "I was just trying to live without getting hurt and not changing anything. I was never open to any kind of change.

"That's a hard question to answer because, at the end of the day, there would be no injustice for ever letting me out. None," he continued. "I'm alive. And all of that past that led up to that moment, there's nothing I can do to change that."

But Sturmer also added, "I know, inside, I am not that person; he does not exist anymore. It took a lot of years to change myself so I don't ever become that person again. … What happened will never happen again."

I know, inside, I am not that person; he does not exist anymore. It took a lot of years to change myself so I don't ever become that person again. … What happened will never happen again.

–Darrell Ray Sturmer

Sturmer was hesitant to tell the board, because he was afraid it would sound cliche, that the turning point in his life came after he was incarcerated and he was "introduced to Christ."

"And that changed everything," he said. "I destroyed two families and the possibility of a third, and that was (Jacobson's) children. Things like that never crossed my mind before my spiritual awakening, if you will.

"And I'm not just playing the system. This is an internal change that happened."

Sturmer says if he is released, he would like to go to a halfway house and continue to get treatment.

"There's no end to the amount of learning that can happen," he said.

Since being in prison, Sturmer says he is no longer in a "reactive state of mind" and that his character and way of thinking have changed, and he understands now "how decisions have consequences."

"I should have sat down and asked (Jacobson) about (the allegation) to facilitate more interaction — not in a negative way, but to let him feel like he has a voice, that he's not just a person who is in a confrontation with another person and are trying to gain power," he said. "None of that would have went down the way it did if I had known how to do that."

At the end of the hearing, Sturmer said he feels he is "ready" to be paroled but understands the board will have a difficult decision.

"That's a hard weight for you, because I murdered a man and there's nothing that can be done about that, other than what you decide after the fact. … The changes I've made will still be there whether I'm incarcerated or not," he told the board.

The full five-member board is expected to announce its decision in several weeks.