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SALT LAKE CITY — Brittany Lin Snyder says she thought if she killed her ex-boyfriend, she would "get some form of dignity back."
Instead, she says she lived in fear and guilt.
"It was just plain wrong of me. I'm not God. I have no right to choose to take someone's life. No one does. It's a terrible thing to do. I've spent a lot of years trying to find God and Jesus for absolution of what I've done," Snyder said Tuesday during her parole hearing.
On March 6, 2004, Snyder lured Michael Lewis, 24, to her former home at 5316 S. Hamlin Street in Murray, which was vacant. Police say Snyder used pepper spray to incapacitate Lewis before her uncle, Clint Veon Snyder, pulled him to the ground. Brittany Snyder then stabbed Lewis multiple times while her uncle restrained him. After the assault, Clint Snyder and a third person, identified only as B.D. in charging documents, left Lewis' body in a trash can where it was discovered a day later.
The crime, however, went unsolved for over a decade. Brittany and Clint Snyder weren't charged until 2016. Both were charged at that time with murder, a first-degree felony.
Clint Snyder accepted an Alford plea to a reduced charge of manslaughter, which is not an admission of guilt but acknowledges he would likely be convicted by a jury. He was sentenced to probation.
Brittany Snyder also accepted a plea deal, pleading guilty to manslaughter, a second-degree felony. She was sentenced to a term of one to 15 years in the Utah State Prison. If she serves her entire sentence, she will be released in 2031.
On Tuesday, Snyder, now 38, went before the Utah Board of Pardons and Parole for the first time. She was very apologetic and emotional during her 40-minute hearing.
"It was me, and I was very wrong," she told the board in her opening comments.
Snyder recounted how she had broken up with Lewis prior to his death. She also says she is bipolar but was undiagnosed and unmedicated at that time and would have episodes of depression that would make her condition worse.
"I was very young and in a dark place," she said.
Snyder said she had another man "in her life" at that time "who suggested we do what we did" and convinced her that "I would get some form of dignity back."
"I fell for it," she told the board.
Snyder admitted Lewis' killing was premeditated. Asked how she felt after the act was completed, Snyder said, "Then, it was fear and some terrible form of relief. But now, it's shame and guilt."
In the years following Lewis' death, Snyder said she lived in guilt and self-medicated with alcohol.
"I spent a lot of years of really living in fear of myself, of my future if I had one," she said.
Two years before she was incarcerated, Snyder says she got treatment and started taking medication and can now control her bipolar episodes. The board noted Tuesday that since being arrested, Snyder has completed her GED, is currently taking college courses, has successfully completed several life skills classes and hasn't had a single disciplinary write-up while at the prison.
"I keep my head in a book," she told the board.
But Daniel Lewis says his family hasn't been the same since his brother's death. He recalls going to dinner with his family right after Michael Lewis' funeral.
"(It was the) defining moment when my family just kind of split. It never was the same after that," he said, noting that his family has "been broken" since that day.
Lewis says his family is hoping the board keeps Snyder in prison for her maximum sentence. And while Lewis says he will never forget what happened, he can at least forgive.
"Forgiveness is not for me to decide ultimately … that's up to God to decide. But I can't be in good conscience as a person if I can't give my forgiveness," he told the board. "Because that's what you're supposed to do as a good person is forgive those things."
In response, Snyder told the board she had read all the letters that were submitted by the family in preparation for Tuesday's hearing, which she said made her feel "more terrible" about what she had done than at any point. She also acknowledges that she got a break with her one-to-15-year sentence, but hopes to use that second chance for good.
"I'm so sorry. And I can't take it back and I can't fix it. But I can do my best to try and be a better person. And I can promise to never hurt anyone again. And again, I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused," she said while holding back tears. "It haunts me that I was ever capable of harming your son, your brother."
The full five-member board will now vote whether to grant parole. The decision may take several weeks.
