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SALT LAKE CITY — Kathy Clayton of Cottonwood Heights felt almost as if she was a school girl getting ready to play at the park with her friends — and in a way, that’s exactly what she was there to do. In a matter of minutes, 10 of her best friends would meet her for lunch (one via Zoom and one in spirit), just as they have done for over 70 years now.
The group consisted of Clayton’s childhood friends, Kaye Barnes, Linda Gorringe, Sharon Green, Judy Mansell, Connie McLeese, Sandra Schofield, Jari Sterling, Eleene Thomas, Kaye Wallace and the late Carla Francis. The women who all turn 80-years-old this year, talked about life, but mostly their friendship.
"I love all these ladies so much," one said.
"It’s so great having this group of friends," another proclaimed.
"They’re like my sisters," some of them declared.
"Getting together with these girls is like a therapy session," one remarked.
Clayton, adding a little more of the back story, said it all started in the first grade.
"Some of us went to Highland Park Elementary, and some went to Forest Elementary, but we all went to South High School," Clayton Said. "Most of us share our common Latter-day Saint faith, but we all share a friendship that we’ve committed to keeping all these years."
While the formative years of grade school created a foundation to build upon, Clayton said as adulthood progressed, that’s when the bond grew stronger.
"Many of us were bridesmaids at each other’s weddings," Clayton said. "But when we became wives and mothers, that’s when we really needed each other’s support. We would get together often with our kids to discuss motherhood, and we would have monthly outings where it was just us. During our childbearing and raising years, getting together was our out, and it was really important for us to have that."
As the years have gone on, however, getting together has proven to be much more than mommy-and-me groups and girls’ nights out. Having a built-in support that has spanned the years, Clayton said has helped them weather some really difficult challenges.
"We’ve lost five husbands, and some have lost grandchildren," she said. "There has been breast cancer, Parkinson's, knee replacements, a brain tumor and many other illnesses and ailments that have hit one another and family members. Four years ago, we lost Carla to pancreatic cancer. Right now, Sharon’s husband is going through chemotherapy for his cancer treatments. One husband was recently diagnosed with COVID."
Having the constant friendship to navigate life’s challenges, Clayton said has been priceless, and the positives over the years have outweighed even the biggest struggles.
"We have taken care of each other, and been supportive of one another," Clayton said. "All but one of us has stayed in the Salt Lake City area (Connie lives in Boise). In our younger parenting years, we would make sure to get out together at least once a month, and now we do it 3-4 times a year. This year, with the virus, it has been more challenging. We have a group text that keeps us connected when we aren’t able to see each other. We do a Christmas get-together and gift exchange."
While there were originally 11 girls in the group, the numbers have grown by way of family posterity. In total, the women have 48 children, 149 grandchildren, and 56 great-grandchildren.
When asked what the secret to their decades-long friendship is, Clayton was quick to speak highly of the caliber of all her friends.
"They’re a good group of ladies," she said. "When you do good things, encourage one another, and take time to spend together, you have long-lasting friendships like ours, and I am so grateful for each of them and the impact they’ve had on my life."
