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Coach Kim: What coronavirus can teach us about connection

By Kim Giles, KSL.com Contributor | Posted - Mar. 2, 2020 at 7:01 a.m.



SALT LAKE CITY — Watching the news as the coronavirus spreads across Asia, Europe, and now the United States, along with the growing fear about a worldwide pandemic it brings, an interesting truth came to light: We are all connected, more than we realize.

This realization could help us repair one of the most damaging subconscious tendencies in our human nature: The belief in separation and changeable value.

We all have a subconscious belief that we are separate from other people, which makes us feel different from, better or worse than, others. We all also suffer from a subconscious fear that we might not be good enough and a belief that human value can be earned, which makes us compare ourselves with other people and stress about our appearance, property and performance.

'Us' versus 'them'

This fear also makes us divide ourselves into groups where an us-versus-them mentality can make us feel more secure, especially if we can see “us” as better than “them” on some level.

This also requires you to see the world in a very binary way, where there are only two options — us and them, black and white, good and bad, righteous and evil, taller and shorter or thinner and fatter. This binary, black-and-white thinking happens so you can find security around you being in "the good group," but it still makes you feel even more separated from other people.

One interesting lesson we can draw from watching the spread of the coronavirus is that we are all very closely connected. Despite all efforts to strengthen the barriers and keep “us” away from “them,” contact and influence still happen. It makes me wonder if “them” actually is “us.”


One interesting lesson we can draw from watching the spread of the coronavirus is that we are all very closely connected. Despite all efforts to strengthen the barriers and keep 'us' away from 'them,' contact and influence still happen.

I think this outbreak gives us an incredible opportunity to change the belief that there are better and worse humans with different values from us. We could create amazing, positive change in the world if we used this opportunity to break down the ego’s fear-based barriers and start seeing unity and connection to all our fellow humans. We may differ in belief systems, color, religion, race and a hundred other things, yet all of that is outnumbered by the things we have in common.

The virus attacks all humans, regardless of any group they belong to. They have the same physiology, psychology and biology you have. In an energetic and spiritual sense “us” is “them,” and we are connected as one. We are a human family, and every single human soul is connected. We have the same infinite and absolute, intrinsic value that cannot change no matter what.

(Un)changable value

We also subconsciously believe human value can change based on what you do, which means you also have to believe some humans have more value than other humans. This belief is the root cause of almost every problem on the planet. It makes us see certain groups of people as having more value than other groups of people, making the us-versus-them problem even worse.

However, I believe you cannot reject, judge or hate another human without it also bringing your own condemnation of yourself. If you see them as not good enough, you will never feel good enough either. It is actually your self-hate that you are projecting onto others when you judge or find fault in them.

"For the mind that judges perceives itself as separate from the mind being judged, believing that by punishing another, it will escape punishment, " the spiritual self-study program "A Course in Miracles” says. The truth is, all attack is self-attack because we are spiritually one. We cannot diminish another person without it casting ourselves as less.

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I believe none of us is less because that isn't even possible. We were all created by the same God or higher power, and we are made of the same material. I believe it’s our job to see God, divinity or value in every person we see. I believe as we honor that divine part of them, it helps us to see the divine part in ourselves.

It could create a profound change in the world if we all would use this opportunity to practice love and compassion for those that are different from us.

Practice letting go of any groups that you might see as better or worse than you. Look at the humans in your life whom you tend to judge and be more mindful that the way you feel about them might be subconsciously the way you feel about yourself. You won't be able to fully love yourself if you can't love the brothers around you.

Any change in the world starts with you and me working on the one person we have control over: ourselves. If enough of us would commit to end the dividing and see all humans as having the same unchanging value, I think we really could change the world.

We can do this.

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Kimberly Giles

About the Author: Kimberly Giles

Coach Kim Giles and Claritypoint Coaching provide help, coaching and workshops for couples in blending families. She offers free resources on her website including a free assessment to learn about your fear triggers.

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