Estimated read time: 3-4 minutes
This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replaying the story in its archived form does not constitute a republication of the story.
SALT LAKE CITY — "If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought." -George Orwell
It is an old joke that parents spend the first years of a child's life waiting for him to speak and the rest of his life wishing he would stop. The joke is ironic, as language is learned from the people we surround ourselves with.
This is part of how language evolves, but there is an impact on us mentally and emotionally when the language we hear and use is harsh, demeaning, crass or otherwise inappropriate. Such language is often seen as a result of defiance, anger or pain and can become so commonplace that we lose sensitivity to how the language affects us, and we lose the chance for more happiness in our lives.
Self-help books, such as "Cuss Control" by James V. O'Connor, are written specifically to address the use of crude language and explore the powerfully negative impact it has on our personal lives and those around us. Treatment for many psychiatric problems, particularly depression or bipolar disorder, begin with learning to speak positively to one's self and others.
Harsh language can become so commonplace we lose sensitivity to how the language affects us, and we lose the chance for more happiness in our lives.
However, this need for positivity doesn't only apply to people with disorders, but to each of us. Just as our physical surroundings can enhance or detract from our emotional states, so can the mental surroundings created by the language we encounter. This applies not only to vulgarity, but language that is sarcastic, cutting or critical. It seems more socially acceptable to cut someone down or react with sarcasm than to "cuss someone out," but the effects are just as detrimental, both to the person doing the speaking and the person on the other end of the conversation.
So how do we address such negativity and invite a positive emotional environment in our homes?
- Pay attention to your personal speech patterns and usage. If we want to change something, we first have to know what it is. Are there certain words or phrases that are an immediate response to stress? Practice positive phrases to replace negative ones until it becomes a habit. As children, we're encouraged to count to 10 before we get mad, but as adults we often skip that step and what comes out of our mouths is not something we'd want anyone else to hear.
- Remember the Golden Rule. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. Particularly when we are behind a computer screen, texting or on the telephone, it can be easy to treat others poorly because we don't have to see them. Stop yourself before posting to a forum or social media with a biting or angry comment and consider how such a comment would affect you. It is often easy to jot something down in the heat of an emotional moment that will be regretted once the moment has passed. Exercise self-control and light use of the send button.
- Encourage positive language in those around you. Discuss the use of positive language with family and friends and point out the use of hurtful language when it occurs. Especially when children are involved, step in to help them find positive ways to deal with negative emotions.
Positive language builds confidence, self-esteem and emotional wellbeing, creating an environment where human relationships and lives thrive. As Thumper reminds us, "If you can't say something nice ... don't say anything at all."
Jana Brown is a freelance writer and editor, wife and mother. She is an excellent cook and avid reader who resolves one day to have a full database of all the books in the house. Catch her at http://cornabys.wordpress.com or tweet along @Cornabys.
