Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes
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"No Strings Attached" opens with what appears to be a sweet little scene between a young boy and girl sitting together at camp, awkwardly talking and getting to know each other. So far, so good. But as the conversation hits a lull, the boy blurts out a startlingly lewd suggestion that knocks you back in your seat. And thus it begins.
Flash forward 10 years and Natalie Portman as Emma and Ashton Kutcher as Adam run into each other again in college, but nothing takes root. Flash forward four more years and they find each other again, things smolder a bit, but -- nothing.
There's a cute little romantic comedy buried somewhere in that pile of junk.
Now it's current day and both are in their respective careers. Emma is a doctor and Adam is working on a TV show, and they connect again. This time the sparks finally ignite, but does it lead to a loving commitment? Here's what they agree to, and this is a fairly close quote: "So we use each other for sex any hour of the day or night and no strings attached?" That's the deal, and for the next hour that's the plot.
Add to all of this a very eclectic supporting cast all engaged in their own pursuit of -- what's the word here -- sex?
I think the filmmakers are trying to convince us we're headed toward love but it's a convoluted if not inexplicable path. For example, there's Kevin Kline as Adam's famous father who starred in a very successful sitcom years ago. He ends up in the shallowest of relationships with one of his son's ex-girlfriends and is puzzled when Adam doesn't give his blessing.
Of course the question will eventually come up, "Can this couple live on sex alone?" Toward the end of the film we're treated to some very sweet scenes that actually show off the skills of a terribly wasted cast, even hilarious edgy moments that are skillfully written, staged and delivered. But, far too much of "No Strings Attached" has no restraint attached and the lewd language, drug use and sex overwhelm.
As I walked out of the theater, I was asked, "So what did you think?" I replied, "There's a cute little romantic comedy buried somewhere in that pile of junk."
Too bad. "No Strings Attached" has a great cast but I'm barely eking out 2 stars. It richly deserves its R rating.
