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SALT LAKE CITY — The "I remember when I lost my mind" TikTok trend is funny — and sheds light on what it was like for young adults to grow up on social media.
Users are sharing their most embarrassing attempts to get their crush's attention online, using the lyrics "I remember when I lost my mind" from the 2006 song "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley.
Most of the videos begin with a young adult shaking their head in dismay, before showing whatever "cringe" content they had posted as a teenager, usually on Snapchat or Instagram.
Captions range from "I remember when my crush said he liked emo girls so I posted this," to "When my crush said he liked girls with nose piercings so I glued an earring to my nose and posted this."
Most of the posts from their younger selves are harmless, if a little immature. However, the trend does raise important questions about kids and teenagers posting on social media and creating — consciously or not — a lasting digital footprint.
"When you're 15, you might not be thinking about what your future employer will think of your posts," said Devorah Heitner, author of "Growing Up in Public."
But frankly, future employers shouldn't be too concerned about something questionable an applicant posted when they were 15, she says.
"You shouldn't be able to not hire someone for a job for something they posted as a child," Heitner said. "It's developmentally inappropriate and unfair."
As kids are learning how to navigate social media, they'll make mistakes — parents should be there to have important conversations and model a healthy relationship with the digital world.
Parents should coach their kids about what is and isn't OK to post online without resorting to fearmongering, e.g., telling their child they won't get into a good college if they post something inappropriate. Not only is it probably not true — most college admissions teams barely have time to read through an applicant's essay, much less find their Instagram account — it also teaches kids that their inappropriate posts primarily affect them, not others.
"If a 15-year-old … harms someone from what they post, I do think they should be held accountable, in that community and at that time," Heitner said.
Some might be tempted to take social media away from kids entirely. Even Utah's own Gov. Spencer Cox has supported measures that only allow minors to have social media accounts with explicit parental permission.
However, Heitner says, the solution to digital immaturity is not to bar kids from technology altogether. This could squelch their free speech and handicap them for future online interactions.
Plus, for the majority of kids, social media is not a catastrophe or instant mental health destroyer, Heitner says.
So, how to approach it? As with most parenting questions, the answer is, "It depends."
There's no one-size-fits-all approach to social media. Some kids will be equipped to handle it as young teenagers; some should probably wait. Some kids will manage their screen time without too many hiccups; some won't.
"There is no perfect age," Heitner said. "Thirteen is not a perfect age, because you're already figuring out who you are and comparing yourself. On the other hand, it can be a really fun place to connect with friends and explore your identity."
Heitner does have a few best practices and insights, though. If you have a child who's just getting started with social media, have them stick to one platform at first. Add more as it feels appropriate.
Encourage your child to follow a small number of people, and mostly people they know. If they do follow someone else — like a celebrity or influencer — make sure it's someone uplifting.
"Pay attention to how following people makes you feel," Heitner said. If the answer is "not great," have the maturity to unfollow them.
In Heitner's experience, most teens aren't too concerned about follower counts or developing their own personal online brand. They pay more attention to whether or not the people they care about are interacting with their posts.
Another critical piece is looking at how much time kids spend on screens, versus how much time they spend doing other things. Activities, like sports, youth groups or reading, can help screens fade into the background.
At the end of the day, kids will probably post some things that will make their future selves cringe a little bit — and that's OK. Who knows? It might be something to laugh about on TikTok later.
