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SALT LAKE CITY — This coming June will mark 16 years since I became a mother.
Over the years, I have experienced many changes. I've seen children grow from baby to big kid to tween, then teen. I have felt my parenting styles change from trying to fit the mold of perfect parent to rejecting that mold to having no real grasp on what that mold looks like (because I'm too deep in the muck of life to know what's going on around me).
Speaking of muck, as I have looked back on all the changes I have experienced over my parenting years, there is one thing that has remained constant: diapers — or rather, the diaper stage that I am still very much immersed in.
With nine kids ranging in age from 15 years old to 10 months old, I have always had a child in diapers. Over my years of waste cleanup and management, I guess you could say that I've learned a thing or two about the absorbent bum-cover.
I have honed my craft and would like to shine some much-needed light on this heavily loaded topic so you, too, can become a master diaper-changer — or at the very least, appreciate those who are.
Quality matters — but only after the first three months
A quality diaper does matter if you're going to keep that waste locked in tight between changes, but this rule applies only after the first few months. Newborns are pooping machines who have the odd talent of getting that stuff everywhere but the diaper. To save on much-needed dollars, go cheap until your baby's waste cycle begins to regulate.
Don't discount the wipe
While quality diapers are essential, so are wipes. In my experience, finding one that is not too wet, nor too dry is key. The grip from the dry ensures you have a good grasp on particles, and the moisture wipes away the residue.
And while baby wipes are universal cleaners for countertops, household cleaning wipes do not belong on baby's behinds. Never tried it, but I know someone who did. Don't do it.
Disposable diapers don't belong in the washing machine
No parent ever knowingly puts a disposable diaper in a wash cycle; but if you've ever accidentally done so, you make a conscious effort not to do it ever again. Absorbency can only go so far before it gives way to thousands of clear slimy things all over the rest of your laundry.
If you use cloth diapers, bless your eco-friendly heart, and please place those in the wash.
Diapers make great hats and should be used as such
As babies get a little older, hands quickly become an issue. Naturally, hands go to that place that is being changed, and you are now out another wipe or two cleaning up messy fingers. A simple solution is to place a (clean) diaper on your baby's head to direct the hands upward. It also turns an otherwise fussy experience into a silly one.
It’s an acquired taste that some never find palatable
I've heard many a wife brag about her diaper-changing husband. Mine reluctantly does so; and when he does, it's painful to watch. He doesn't inhale or exhale during the entire experience and approaches the cleanup efforts a little too daintily.
He is a master toilet cleaner, mops the floors like a boss, and is a deep cleaner of epic proportions. But diapers? Nu-uh.
It is the ultimate service opportunity
While changing stinky bums may seem tediously awful, it needs to be done. As awesome as it would be, babies can't change themselves.
I may very much look forward to being out of the diaper-changing stage, but I enjoy the opportunity to serve my babies in this way. Sixteen years of wiping bums, hosing down blow-outs and discreetly disposing of biological hazardous materials has taught me unconditional love to last even the messiest of challenges — that I'm sure are just around the corner.
What do you love/miss about the diaper stage? Do you have tips? Tell us in the comment section.
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