ABSOLUTELY NOTVILLE — I'd like to start off by apologizing for this article and exposing you to this video. If you are claustrophobic, have aquaphobia or ophidiophobia then this video may kill you. The reason why? It's a giant anaconda underwater and I'm getting the chills just thinking about it.
This video is just a whole lot of "nope" wrapped in a blanket of "forget it" and nestled inside a cozy bed of "absolutely not." In fact, as I was writing this — not even looking at the video, just thinking about it — my phone buzzed in my pocket and scared me half to death.
What's crazy is nothing really happens in the video except for a diver filming a giant anaconda. The snake is pretty chill and never gets aggressive with the diver, but it's still the most terrifying thing I've seen in months. This thing is over 22 feet long, and I can't imagine the power it has. Anacondas move fast in the water and could likely strangle a bear with ease — or so I assume. I'm not a zoologist, but it probably could happen.
Anyway, this diver is right up in the face of this anaconda and as cool as the other side of the pillow; it makes no sense to me. My eyes would have popped out of my head and my lungs would have exploded with trapped screams the second I saw that thing in the water.
Let me know if you get through the video because if you do, you're braver than I am. Granted, that's not tough to do ... but still.