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24 'dad jokes' to celebrate fatherly humor

By Jen Riess, KSL.com | Posted - Jun 16th, 2019 @ 10:15pm



SALT LAKE CITY — I owe a lot to my father — he passed down so much wisdom, taught more life lessons than I can count and helped me grow into the person I am today. However, what I am most grateful for is my dad's ability to always say a corny line to make me laugh.

Here are some dad jokes that I think will make my dad, your dad and all dads crack a smile.

1. "Dad, I'm hungry" "Nice to meet you hungry, I'm dad!"

A true classic

2. What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy-up."

3. "Dad, I'm going to take a bath." "I think the tub is too heavy for you to take."

4. I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.

5. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Bison!

6. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

7. How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles

8. A guy walks into a bar, the bartender asks "are you OK?"

9. Two satellites got married — the ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.

10. What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty

Another classic dad joke

11. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener

12. My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it is also terrible.

13. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

14. Why can't you have a nose that is 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

15. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

16. I got fired at my job at the bank today. Someone asked me to check their balance so I pushed them over.

17. My grandfather has the heart of a lion. He also has a lifetime ban from the buffalo zoo.

18. What's Forrest Gump's password? 1Forest1

19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

20. Do you know anyone who can jump higher than a house? Anyone can, houses can't jump.

21. I'm not calling her a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849.

22. People say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

23. Why are skeletons so calm? They don't let anything get under their skin.

24. What happens when a frog parks illegally? It gets toad.

Contributing: Max Marco and Ryan Strodbeck, WBGU-FM

Jen Riess

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