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SALT LAKE CITY — Every mother needs a helping hand, especially from another mother.
Whether it’s car-pooling children, sharing a unique skill or simply reserving judgment, moms helping moms makes motherhood a happier place. Here are a few easy ways to help out.
Barter services
Instead of lamenting that you don’t like to sew or do papier-mache, find another mother and do a good old-fashioned trade.
A friend of mine does a babysitting co-op. Participating mothers choose days and times that work for them to be available for babysitting. Using "Babysitting Bucks" earned by babysitting, they “pay” each other for the service. Simple, clear, and no awkward exchange of money or feeling you’re doing more than a fair share. (You can receive a free download of “50 Fun Things to Do with Kids in the Summer” from the co-op creator.)
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Moms can also start a “classifieds” in their neighborhood. With a simple e-newsletter, women can choose a time, product or service they either want or can offer and place them in the e-newsletter. Include a variety of categories like art, music, cooking, organizing, etc. Just a few weeks ago I exchanged a few books for a wonderful massage from a licensed woman in our neighborhood.
Just be there
As you make your daily to-do list, ask yourself: “Who is the one person that really needs me today?” Most likely many people could use your help, but when you start with one, you’re not overwhelmed. And you’re more likely to be open to helping the one person who may really, truly, absolutely need you today.
Don’t worry about being the perfect help. Awhile back when we had a random snowstorm, I stopped to help a neighbor mom stuck partway in a ditch. I didn’t have a tow rope or other supplies, so I offered to go find them. After stopping at nearby homes and calling other neighbors with no success, I returned to the mom who by now had had someone else (with a truck) helping her. I felt like a loser! But she quickly assured me with a gracious, genuine thought that stayed with me: “You did help. I knew you had my back, and that made all the difference. I didn’t feel alone.”
Take a bigger, reasonable risk
Mothers are fabulous at finding effective shortcuts or helps in daily life. But sometimes we don’t act on our finding because we think that it’s no big deal, no one else needs the help, or it’s a dumb idea.
VIDEO: A 'Studio 5' discussion
Think again. Your shortcut may be just the gap-filler or joy-juicer that a mother was searching for.
The other day I took my girls to the mall and there we saw “Animal Riders.” These are large motorized rideable fabric animals on wheels. My girls — and myself — had a ball! I talked with the owner who said his wife started the business.
When they lived in Arizona, she used the motorized toys as a post-shopping incentive for her young children to behave during a shopping trip. It worked beautifully! Now she has brought the idea to a Provo mall and is spreading the stress-free shopping possibility.
As mothers barter their own talents, or are there in the moment, or even start up something marvelous and helpful, we help one another make the motherhood journey more meaningful and enjoyable.
For an enhanced discussion, view the TV version of this article on www.studio5.ksl.com or www.conniesokol.com.
Connie Sokol is an author, speaker, TV contributor and mother of seven. Contact her at www.conniesokol.com.
