SALT LAKE CITY — For newlyweds, money is often the catalyst for first-year fights when learning to live together and do things as one. Because money floods so many areas of our lives, it requires a greater level of compromise and communication than some love-struck couples realize. In addition to the most crucial first step in money management (use a budget!) here are 10 tips to help couples achieve budgeting bliss and build healthy money habits.

1. Team up. Money management is a lifelong task that should be shouldered by husband and wife together. Don’t leave all the money management to just one spouse. Sally A. Glassman, a managing director at Merrill Lynch Wealth Management and the author of "It’s About More Than the Money," stated, “Sometimes one spouse is trying to protect the other. ... They think they’re helping. They don’t want to create more stress. They may be helping in the short term, but it’s problematic in the long term.” Both people need to be on board, in the loop and actively discussing what should happen with the money. If one person is the “money geek” and prefers to set things up, that’s fine. However, both should be involved in planning and goal-setting. Both should be aware of monthly spending, bills and any other financial obligations. The more in-the-know each person is, the better you can work as a team.
2. Communicate often. Make money communication easier by having a "budget date" at least once a month. Get together a few days before the start of each new month and discuss your spending priorities and goals for the next four weeks. Order pizza, light a few candles and pull out the receipts. Make it fun and something you look forward to. But no matter what, come prepared to listen openly to the other person’s concerns and questions. Holding regular, consistent discussions about your finances will help you make significant financial progress and strengthen your relationship as a whole.

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Budgeting: the misunderstood money plan

Whether money is overflowing or barely trickling into your hands, each dollar holds massive power only fully realized through proper budgeting. Although often viewed as the dirty word of money-talk, budgeting is the integral linchpin to financial wellness.

1. Track your spending. There’s no shortcut for this. You just have to do it. If the task seems overwhelming, make a promise as a couple to track your expenses for just one month and then assess your spending. Without a doubt, you’ll identify places where cash is slipping through your fingers. Adjust your spending and fix it. With both of you diligently recording spending, you’ll gain laser-like focus and a heightened awareness. The more awareness you share as a couple, the more empowered you become.
2. Set goals. Choose an exciting goal to save for (beyond those everyday expenses). When used right and managed properly, money can help fulfill your life’s ambitions. Set money aside each month for a downpayment on a house, a dream vacation or that business you hope to start someday. With proper planning and budgeting, the two of you can check those items off your bucket list as you move steadily through life. Having that bright spot to look forward to in the future is also a good motivator for you and your spouse to stay on task and remember what you’re working so hard to achieve.
3. Budget for individiual fun. Sharing and doing things as one is paramount in a marriage. However, it’s important for individuality to be maintained as well. Designating a specific amount of personal "fun money" for each spouse each month is a healthy solution. The amount isn’t crucial so much as the freedom that comes with it. Having a few dollars to spend on yourself offers release from the tension each spouse may feel when trying to stick so close to the budget.
4. Save from the start. Start building a financial reserve from the get-go, even if money feels tight. Funds saved for emergencies and unexpected mishaps (or bills) is a priceless reserve. The worst thing you can do financially is allow yourselves to live from paycheck to paycheck, on the brink of financial crisis. When money is strained, so is your marriage. According to a 2009 New York Times article, “Couples who reported disagreeing about finances once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances a few times a month." Avoid extra pressure on your relationship by budgeting for future needs. Make a Rainy Day Fund, add to it regularly (even if it’s $10 here and $20 there) and let that money sit until you need it. It won’t take too long to see how right you were to plan for it.

1. Accept that your money styles may be different, and set goals to help you work together. Budgeting inevitably reveals your money personality. It won’t take too long in a new marriage to learn who is the penny-pincher and who is the impulse buyer, who loves to check the account balance daily and who swipes the debit card hoping the money is there. Be patient and understanding if you don’t see eye to eye on how things should be done. Both people may need to adjust their habits in one way or another. Remember, you’re on the same team. Be supportive of one another and keep talking. Communication followed by action is the key to finding your financial sweet spot.
2. Be creative and inventive. Budgets aren’t necessarily about living on less — they’re about learning to use what you have in the most advantageous manner possible. It’s about maximizing every dollar. Sometimes that does mean cutting back in one place so you can flourish in another (i.e., your living room might consist of very, very used furniture until those student loans are paid back). But you can still make things look nice. With a little work, your home or a wardrobe can be full of quality pieces if you know where to look, when to shop and how to think outside the box. Hit up thrift stores, garage sales and clearance racks. Check out sites like Freecycle or the local classifieds. It does take a little more digging, but you’ll be surprised what you find.
3. Be honest about all money issues. Lying about finances is crippling to a marriage. Never hide credit cards, debt or money problems from your spouse. Bonnie Eaker Weil, a psychotherapist and author of the book "Financial Infidelity," says, "I call financial infidelity the No. 1 relationship wrecker.” She goes on to state, “While people shouldn't have to clear every purchase with their spouse or partner, they must be transparent about all income, spending and saving, a habit couples should establish at the beginning of the relationship.” A strong marriage is always built on trust. Because money is so far-reaching, it’s crucial to maintain an open dialogue and strive for total transparency. If there’s a problem, let your spouse help you through it rather than trying to cloister your issues away in secrecy.
4. Stay positive and keep at it. You won’t get everything right in the first month. Surprises happen. Overspending will happen. Expect lots of trial and error. Sustained effort, tracking and time are crucial. Be gentle with yourself as you set out to discover your true spending habits and the best way to communicate with your spouse. Be forgiving when things go wrong, and then start again and keep trying. You’ll need to assess, adjust and act over and over again. The longer you go, the easier it will be to predict the amounts for your budget categories each month. The fact that you’re attempting a regular budget as a couple already means you’re succeeding. Keep at it and encourage one another. Financial obligations will be with you your entire life as well as your entire marriage. Learn to budget responsibly and talk openly with your spouse. As you successfully tackle money together, you’ll be amazed how much that single life task helps you grow together as one.

Jesse Mecham is founder of the financial software company,YouNeedaBudget.com Based on four fail- safe rules, Jesse's revolutionary software helps people break the paycheck to paycheck cycle, get out of debt, and save more money faster.

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