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SALT LAKE CITY — Weary of an endless summer break and the constant bickering, I had grown desperate. I didn't want to totally lose it. As a parent, you do what you've got to do to hold it together. I heard myself saying, "Kids, you better get in here and watch TV. School's starting soon and you won't be able to watch it as much." Since when do parents encourage their kids to watch more TV?
As kid guardians, we find ourselves in these predicaments where nonsense overrides. It happens. Like when you exasperatedly say, "Just wipe it on your sleeve" after a futile search for a Kleenex, napkin or gum wrapper. We spend so much time drilling the dos and don'ts of propriety into their little minds and yet with one swift moment we can contradict all of our teachings.
Living with young people any number of anomalies can occur and be normal.
Living with young people any number of anomalies can occur and be normal. Have you ever caught yourself saying something like, "This isn't chocolate!" As your wiping down the floor or wall? What about, "Yes, you can take the flute into the bathtub, just be quiet!
What about the times you're on the road, at a restaurant with a picky, persnickety child who won't eat, and you know it's going to be miles and hours before the next meal is served. "Finish your french fries!" you demand, realizing at the moment it comes out of your mouth how ridiculous it sounds. At any other time you would be insisting they finish their vegetables. Sometimes common sense just goes by the wayside.
Think of the times you've struggled to get a young child to take his medicine. That situation can quickly spiral down to madness. What sorts of silly noises, comedy routines and candy promises have you made just to get them to take 1 1/2 teaspoons of Amoxcicillian?
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What's the strangest thing you've ever said as a parent?<br><br> "Stop telling your sister she doesn't have a head." -Katrina Millet Espinoza<br><br> "Please don't lick the dog ..." -Amanda Carson<br><br> Share your story with us on the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Motherhood-Matters-kslcom/182149081842124"target=_blank>Motherhood Matters Facebook page</a> or the <a href="http://ksl.com/index.php?nid=1009&sid=19492030&comments=true"target=_blank>ksl.com Comment Board</a>.Have you noticed the more sleep-deprived you become, the more absurd the things are that come out of your mouth? How much money have you promised your older children if they would just watch the younger ones for a little while? The amount negotiated on can be staggering. And teenagers are particularly opportunistic at maximizing their earning potential in these sorts of situations. They can be sharks. In that same vein, what have you promised your spouse if they would just please get up and get the baby a bottle? In these trying times, what have you indentured yourself to?
I've had moments near breakdown where I've angrily announced that "I do not want to hear one more person in the house say the word Mom!" Followed by a march down the hall and a slam of my bedroom door. Notwithstanding, minutes later a child has gently opened the door, stuck their head around it and said, "Shannon?"
How many times have we've been so tired and flustered that we have thrown our hands in the air, in a gesture of defeat and said, "I'm going to pretend I didn't see that"? And just let it ride. A person can only put up with so much after all.
Parenthood is not for the faint of heart. We are hardworking troopers who, after surviving a tiresome day of shuttling kids hither and thither to appointments and play dates, seeing through the homework, baths, feedings and busyness of the family routines, if we occasionally have a moment of absurdity and blurt out something totally nutty, it's simply OK.
Bill Cosby said it best, "No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."
Shannon Badger is a graduate of the University of Oregon, and a frazzled mother of five. Correspondence is welcomed at kellydame@yahoo.com.
