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SALT LAKE CITY — Most new mothers get the same advice when their babies are born: sleep when the baby sleeps, accept help, take it one day at a time. While useful in some ways, none of this actually helped me get my life in order when I became a mother.
Left on my own with a colicky newborn, I had a lot to learn.
But like all resourceful parents who live and learn, so did I. From this wisdom comes some new advice you can actually use to get your life in order again.
Stock up on quick foods
Babies have the worst timing. When you finally get a moment to sit down and eat, she will undoubtedly wake that very moment and scream for her meal, leaving you with a growling tummy and plummeting blood sugar.
Try snacking on cheese and crackers, trail mix, veggies and bean dip, a smoothie, yogurt, a banana or granola bars. But don't just stash them in the kitchen.
In addition to stockpiling and freezing meals before your baby is born, fill your kitchen with quick foods you can eat in a flash.
Those power-packed snacks you kept on hand during pregnancy will still play a big role postpartum — especially if you’re nursing. In the pregnancy bible “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” authors Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel offer this advice: “Fight fatigue by grazing on snacks and mini meals that combine protein and complex carbs to serve up long-term energy.”
Try snacking on cheese and crackers, trail mix, veggies and bean dip, a smoothie, yogurt, a banana or granola bars. But don’t just stash them in the kitchen. “Keep your glove compartment and your diaper bag stocked,” Murkoff and Mazel say, and anywhere else that will help you in a pinch.
Prioritize, then do everything fast
You’ve been told to let the chores go and lower your standards of cleanliness for a while, but there are some things that just can’t slide, like the occasional shower and having clean underwear.
It’s time to get picky. Focus on the few things that absolutely must get done, then rank those items. When you have time, start with number one and work your way down, stopping and starting as your schedule (or baby) allows. If you don’t finish everything, it’s OK. At least you worked on the most important things first.
It's time to get picky. Focus on the few things that absolutely must get done, then rank those items. When you have time, start with number one and work your way down.
Completing tasks quickly will give you more time for other things — namely, you. I came up with a quick shower trick for when my baby napped. I would hurry through the washing and scrubbing, then turn the water off and listen for sounds that he had woken. If not, I could take the leftover time to turn the water back on and enjoy the luxury of a longer hot shower.
Be prepared
New babies don’t come with instructions, but they do come with a lot of stuff. Keeping things organized will ensure everything you need will be there when you need it.
That first week or two home after the baby’s born you won’t feel like moving much, if at all. If you want to prop yourself and the baby in bed all day, go for it. Just keep a small basket of essentials handy — like diapers, wipes, burp cloths and snacks — and you won’t have to go far. Put more of these baskets throughout your home and you’ll have the essentials at hand.
Once you’re ready to go out and about, do things long before they’re needed, like packing the diaper bag the night before or making lunch at the same time you make breakfast. And, of course, give yourself an extra 30 minutes to go anywhere. You never know when your baby will have a blowout or spit up all over his outfit (or yours) just as you’re walking out the door.
Appreciate your spouse
The first few weeks of parenthood are the most chaotic of your life. If you have the support of a spouse, don’t let petty fights keep you from working together.
“Being new parents is a joint effort,” says Dr. Harvey Karp, renowned pediatrician and author of the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block." “There is so much to do that the only way to do it all, and still be friends, is to work as a team.”
Being new parents is a joint effort. There is so much to do that the only way to do it all, and still be friends, is to work as a team.
–Dr. Harvey Karp, author of "The Happiest Baby on the Block"
#karp_quote
No matter who fills what roles, both parents are equally responsible for their children. Each has a job to do to keep harmony in the family.
“Dads must support and adore their wives, moms must nurture and caress their husbands; and you both have to cut each other some slack and avoid harsh criticisms,” Karp says.
Resolve to not give in to anger or resentment, and commit to supporting each other with gratitude, patience and love. If you do get into disagreements, be willing to stop and apologize, find a solution and move on.
Celebrate your victories
Focus on your successes, not your shortcomings. It’s OK to admit that the easy tasks aren’t so easy anymore and that this new mom stuff is really hard. In fact, it may help you realize just how much you do accomplish in one day.
Not feeling like you’ve done anything special? It may be as easy as adjusting how you think about things. For example, instead of feeling lazy for staying in your pajamas until 4 p.m., feel good that you got dressed for the day.
It’s all about acknowledging your efforts, whatever they are. After all, your life has changed overnight — not to mention you just went through the most taxing physical feat your body has ever known, and you did it with success. Congratulate yourself for making it to motherhood and feel proud for all you’re doing to nurture the new life you’ve created.
Email: lmaxfield@ksl.com
