Most families don't plan their household budgets in any way similar to what the federal government is up to. But for the sake of argument, let's put a fictional family in circumstances comparable to the tug-of-war in Washington.

Our family -- we'll call them the Petersons -- are settling on their money plan for the year. Husband Dave is confident in his ability to earn for the family. He has job security, a good career and isn't opposed to taking on reasonable debt. His wife, Michelle, is more conservative. She wants to save more, spend less. She worries about sending their two kids (a third is on the way) to college. She worries about retirement, and frets that the mortgage on their four-bedroom South Jordan home is too large - they stretched their budget to afford it, taking on an adjustable rate mortgage. And now, it's lost value and they barely have any equity.

Dave agrees they should cut discretionary spending. He thinks they should spend less, for example, on family entertainment. But Michelle puts a high value on the time the family spends together. She'd like to keep the entertainment budget mostly intact, but suggests they spend less on the cable television package. Dave is willing to compromise on that, and they agree to lose the add-on premium entertainment and sports packages.

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Dave is expecting to increase his car payment this year. He wants to replace his five-year-old Honda and has his eyes on a moderately expensive foreign sports sedan. Michelle thinks he should keep his car a few more years, but she's willing to let Dave buy the car he wants if the monthly payments are within a certain range.

Michelle is also worried that their adjustable rate mortgage is scheduled to require higher monthly interest payments two years from now. She thinks the family should budget in anticipation of that, and not in expectation of Dave getting a pay increase at work.

Overall, they're pretty close to a final number. Dave promises he will begin focusing more on long-term financial security. Michelle wants that to start immediately. Nevertheless, both sides think they can live with what's on the table, and the cuts they've agreed to make.

But there's a wrench in the works, thanks to Michelle. She's become convinced after talking to her mother that she needs to be more assertive in running the household. Up until recently, she let Dave do all of the financial planning. Michelle believes if she gives in too much, she'll appear weak, and Dave won't feel he has to listen to her in the future. Dave says that's not true, that he just wants to make decisions and move on.

But Michelle has other issues. She thinks their family agreement on the budget should include a promise from Dave to go on a diet. He's a bit overweight and his cholesterol levels are higher than they should be. Dave agrees to give up ice cream, but Michelle thinks that's not enough.

Also, Michelle wants their oldest son, Davey Jr., to give up baseball and concentrate on soccer. She was a soccer player in high school, while Dave loves baseball, but Michelle thinks the boy is better suited for soccer, which she calls a "modern sport."

On these points, Dave thinks Michelle is being a pill. Michelle believes she is standing up for what's best for the family in the long-term, and she thinks Dave isn't as focused as he should be on the family's long-term financial health, or his personal health.

In the meantime, the family had been expecting to take a spring break trip with the kids to Disneyland in just a few weeks. Both Dave and Michelle agree they shouldn't take the trip until they agree on the overall family budget. Dave was under the impression they had reached a common number, and he thinks her demands on his diet and their son's sporting preferences are irrelevant to the discussion.

The mood is tense in the Peterson household. Voices have been raised. They've talked about "giving it another week" to think it over, but it seems the tension is so thick, the marriage itself may break apart.

For the kids, the whole thing is very traumatic. They were promised the Disneyland trip. They told their friends they were going, and as far as they are concerned, it's a done deal. And they are rattled that Mom and Dad aren't getting along. They fear where that may lead.

So, the question now is, if the Petersons can't reach an accommodation, if the Disneyland trip is canceled, if the household shuts down, who are the kids going to blame?

Email: cpsarras@ksl.com

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