SALT LAKE CITY — I started my love affair with Diet Coke in the mid-90s. I was weak.

I ran with the wrong crowd at BYU. Everyone was doing it. They dragged me down to their level. I was just a lonely kid from Idaho, vulnerable — and handsome as all get out.

What was I supposed to do? Keep my convictions? Stand up for what I believed in?

Drink water?

Blah, blah, water blah. I needed my drink to have personality, especially when mine was sagging.

I have tried to kick the Diet Coke habit many times. My family has begged me to stop trying. Apparently, I use an ice-cold one to self medicate — to cap off my highs and lessen my lows emotionally or chemically. I get mean. And I think I have used the trip to the corner convenience store to get a 52-ouncer as part of a "good day."

Related:

This is what happens when you drink soda

It's no news flash that soda — diet or otherwise — is bad for health; even those who happily indulge in a can-a-day (or more) habit can rattle off at least two or three negative effects of soda consumption. But when it comes to the effects of soft drink consumption on the human body, the total picture is downright scary.

When I can’t think or when things get loud at home, I hop into the van and take a break to Diet Coke land for a scheduled unscheduled break.

What worked, and what didn't

The last time I made a go at quitting caffeine, I timed it to coincide with dental work. I quit Diet Coke the day before the appointment. On the day of, they gave me a shot or seven to numb me, as they always do. Then, they drilled enough holes in my mouth for me to hide my spare change. All part of my evil plan. On to the pills.

I figured that I would be taking some strong medication for pain. What kind of pain didn’t matter. So, I included “going off caffeine” pain.

I have had some amazingly crazy ideas in the past. Sitting on the roof with a hose waiting for the neighbor dog to come take a bite out of my chickens (bad).

Thinking that spray foam by itself would hold up a patch in the ceiling (bad —funny story, but bad).

Leaf blower for dusting curtains and blinds (actually, good — but don’t tell my wife).

Grouping dental work and going off caffeine (excellent). Everything went perfectly. By day six or seven, I was out of headache range and I could breath when I had to move furniture or chase grandchildren.

But I still felt a pull to go to the corner store every three hours or so and eventually gave in.

So there I was, in a position where Diet Coke was not helping my endurance, and I needed to quit. Again. I refused to take “you can’t quit” for an answer. This time I was not going to be a cliché.

Here is my progress:

Day 1: Started off with a drink (Diet Coke). I made a ceremony out of it. When I finished the 52 ounces, I made the official switch to Gatorade. Gatorade tastes like Idaho ditchwater with a little color added.

Too much soda in your diet?

Here are some WebMD-approved tips to help you cut back:

• Make up your mind
• Switch to diet sodas
• Go caffeine-free
• Stock up on alternatives
• Pimp up your water
• Give soy milk a chance
• Don't skimp on skim milk

(Source: WebMD)

The Gatorade grew on me as the day went by, mostly because I thought I was going to die anyway, why not drink ditchwater? No real difference in how I felt.

I felt a little silly when I drove right up to the corner store on my way home after work. Habit.

Day 2: Did the exact same thing. Maybe 20 years of caffeine needs more than one send-off. I figured that several days of this would be sorta like a cutback program. Not a bad idea, I suppose. I have cut back.

Day 5: Had my morning Diet Coke. Halfway through the morning it started to taste not-as-good-as-it-used-to taste. I threw it out and started my Gatorade early. Orange ditchwater and mixed fruit ditchwater are my preferred flavors.

Day 6: I have discovered that cold Gatorade tastes better, but it makes my throat sore. For long-term physical activity, drinking it at cool-room temperature works best for me. I find that I can breathe a bit better after a day of physical labor. Also, I have tried not taking the prescription I have for acid reflux, which seems to be cut in half without my regular three-a-day (OK, four-a-day) Diet Coke.

Day 11: Am I gaining weight? I have gone from Diet Coke — with no calories — to three Gatorades a day. Now I am consuming a pack of Kool-Aid a day as well, mostly because it has been so darn hot.

Day 15: On my day off I get a Diet Coke. I don’t really need it, but I get it anyway. It’s the going to the corner store that I like — taking a break and leaving the house.

Day 21: I was concerned when I had my last Diet Coke a week ago that I was falling off the wagon, but I haven’t. Two in three weeks is moderation.

Prognosis: As long as I am working and sweating, I can see getting/staying off Diet Coke — cutting my intake by about 90 percent. Sounds like moderation. Will this be sufficient for being healthy and being able to run hard and fast for several hours a day without feeling like I have been stepped on?

So far, yes. I feel better. I have more energy. I breathe better, I don’t have the acid reflux of past years. I have fewer headaches and I sleep better at night. And, if I get my Gatorade at the giganto mart instead of at the corner convenience store, I spend less money.

Gatorade, water, Kool-Aid, and a half-gallon of skim milk a day — like a Idahoan turned Utahn: This I can do.

The downside is that I no longer have the largest collection of refillable plastic glasses in the four-state area, and I don’t get to see my friends at the corner store very often.

They’ll live. Davison Cheney writes the "Prodigal Dad" family humor column weekly for KSL.com. See his other writings at davisoncheneymegadad.blogspot.com, & on Twitter @davisoncheney.

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