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AMERICAN FORK — What would you do if you were diagnosed with a terminal illness and given only a handful of years to live? Tanner Martin, who was diagnosed 2½ years ago with stage 4 colon cancer, wants to become a father.
At the age of 25, and just two years into his marriage with wife, Shay Martin, he was diagnosed with the disease that doctors hoped they'd be able to rid from his body. Just one month ago, however, it was discovered the cancer had spread, and he was given between two and five years to live.
In a video shared on social media, Tanner Martin spoke about what it was like getting the diagnosis, the recent prognosis and how this news has put life in perspective.
"There's always a lot of hope in treatments, so things are hard now, but we look a lot toward the future," he said in the video. "I think (getting the recent prognosis) was the first time we realized that this may be the future — just me in treatments all the time, and we were trying to figure out how we could experience as much life together as possible.
"... Something we have talked about, and long been excited for before I got diagnosed, was having kids. I think having a terminal illness puts a lot of things in perspective," Tanner Martin continued. "In my own personal reflection, when I think about what I want to do with the time I have left, I feel like if I have the opportunity to be a dad for just a little bit in this life, I will feel like my life is more complete."
In the years following the diagnosis and leading up to the prognosis, the couple has done many spontaneous things, including going on trips to Mexico, Disney World and even renewing their wedding vows in Ireland. This spontaneity, Shay Martin said, is out of character for her — but they have felt the urgency "to live."
She spoke to KSL.com on Friday, while her husband was recovering from surgery. She said that at first, the two of them didn't feel the urgency to have a child and were, in fact, prior to the prognosis, planning on waiting five years after remission to have children, but things changed quickly. With Tanner's treatments causing fertility challenges, the couple took the proper steps early on in the diagnosis to ensure that they would have a chance to bear a child together when the time came.
With the recent prognosis, the time to grow their family has come, but Shay Martin said, unlike some things, their decision has not been spontaneous. It has come with a lot of thought, consideration, therapy and research.
"We went to a lot of therapy to make the decision, because it kind of leaves a possibility that I'll be a single mom," Shay Martin said. "Also, just having a child who might grow up a lot of years without a dad is hard, so we finally made the decision to do IVF and just to try to live as much of our life together as we can, with the hope that Tanner will live as long as he can."
Both Tanner and Shay Martin are studying to become marriage and family therapists, with Tanner Martin graduating in May. Shay Martin teaches child development at Utah Valley University, and said that she and her husband have done a lot of research that has helped them to not only make the decision, but to create a loving and safe environment for the child they hope to bring into this world.
She said her husband has been attending school throughout all his treatments, and has been a positive light — even with all the hard things he has had to endure.
"Tanner's had eight procedures, he is on radiation. And then next week will be his 28th round of chemo," Shay Martin explained. "It's been a lot on him, physically, but he's just the most smiley and positive person.
"I've been amazed at the people who have just come out and said that he's the friendliest person and how much he has impacted their lives."
When family and friends got the word that the couple would be undergoing IVF treatments, many asked how they could help. Many businesses, locally and nationally, have stepped in to offer products and services to auction off in an effort to help the Martins afford the treatments. The auction* began April 14, and will go through April 21, with all of the items listed on Shay's Instagram account @shaylynnright.
Items for sale include a vintage Utah Jazz jersey signed by former Jazz basketball forward and NBA All-Star Karl Malone, art and photography from local artists, an Alaska vacation, admission to various local attractions, beauty services, a goldendoodle puppy and other foods, products, clothing and services.
"It's been amazing to see how much people just love Tanner, and who have just been so supportive of us," Shay Martin said.
The couple plans on starting the IVF process in the winter, with the hope for a baby next summer.
*KSL.com does not assure that money spent will be applied for the benefit of the persons named as beneficiaries. If you are considering a purchase, you should consult your own advisors and otherwise proceed at your own risk.
