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Statistically, one third of all couples who divorce regret their decision. The rate of divorce is staggering and realizing that a third of the people who divorce later regret their decision is overwhelming. That is a huge number! What causes so many to make a major life decision that they later regret? What are the factors that lead to this statistic? I think it would be fair to ask, "Is divorce an easy out?" Remember we are only talking about the third of people who regret their choice to divorce.
I see that there are really three main factors at play, willingness to work on the marriage, selflessness, and commitment. I have seen cases where a great willingness to work on the relationship translates to a long and fulfilling marriage. At times, work alone has saved struggling marriages. If two people are willing to work hard enough, they can create a successful long-term relationship. It is just that simple. Doing the work isn't that simple, but the principle is. Unmet emotional needs are high on the list of reasons for divorce. This can often be traced to an unwillingness to work hard and meet those needs.
One solution to this problem is to teach a strong work ethic within relationships. Teaching a child the value of hard work is vital to his or her future marriage. It is also a key to helping the next generation change the tide of divorce. Every time a child does something new and different, they learn they can do it. Life is tough and there are no perfect marriages. There will always be issues. The harder an individual works, the stronger they will be in the face of future challenges in relationships.
Selfishness is a core element to the erosion of a marriage. This could be termed as the number one reason for divorce. The success of a marriage innately carries with it the need for selflessness. Marriage is all about loving another person more than you love yourself, caring about their needs and wants first, and looking past your own desires in order to serve them. There is no free ride in marriage.
The third principle, that of commitment, is the cement that holds everything together. Believing in the institution of marriage and feeling totally committed to the ideal of marriage creates strong cement. A commitment to your partner to not only love them but to understand them, serve them and meet their needs is the strongest cement known. The success of marriage begins with the establishment of the deepest commitments; commitments to push through difficulty and trials and find ways to love each other even when it is difficult.
By improving the three key areas of willingness to work on the marriage, selflessness and commitment, marriages will be strengthened. When these principles are taught to children and youth, especially in the context of relationships and marriage, it can have a dramatic affect on their ability and desire to remain in a long-term relationship and to have more fulfillment in marriage.
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