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THE BEARPOCALYPSE — My friends, this is the end. It has been a pleasure knowing you vicariously through this digital world, but there is a strong possibility this will be my last time speaking with you.
The next devious step in the bear population’s sinister plan to take over the world and rid it of humankind has been documented on video, and it’s terrifying.
I warn you, this video is disturbing and possibly horrifying.
A proud soldier of the human race captured this on video. It’s a bear walking on two legs with a gait like a human. What this video evidence tells us is that this animal has been practicing this maneuver and will soon wear a trench coat, dark sunglasses and a fedora in an effort to blend in with normal society à la the Teenage Mutant Turtles. But this bear will not be looking to keep April O’Neal safe, but rather tear her apart.
Sharing this video and heinous plot with you will no doubt make its way to the Fraternal Order of Bearhood Overlords, or FOBO, and they will undoubtedly retaliate against me. I am scared, but I must warn my brothers and sisters of the human race of what’s to come.
If I survive I will reach out again next week with further instructions. Until then, I bid you farewell and ask you pass this on to all that you know in an effort to thwart the evil plans of bears before it’s too late.
John has been writing about movies, news, sports and pretty much anything awesome for more than five years. John is the co-host of the Flix Junkies podcast and will always entertain you with his stories. John is an alumnus of both Utah Valley University and BYU. He, his wife and their two children call Salt Lake City home.