Estimated read time: 4-5 minutes
This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replaying the story in its archived form does not constitute a republication of the story.
SALT LAKE CITY — Let’s face it — motherhood is a mix of the fabulous and the frantic. And, like most worthwhile experiences in life, there will come the highs and lows, so it’s vital to recognize and revel in the good.
Love it in moments.
Rather than expecting a daily jaunt through the daisies, we can openly embrace that though the moments are often hard, that doesn’t mean they’re not worth it.
Author Gretchen Rubin shares in "The Happiness Project", “One study that examined a group of women’s emotions during their daily activities showed that they found ‘child care’ only slightly more pleasant than commuting. … Nevertheless, despite these findings, I had to reject the experts’ argument that children don’t bring happiness. Because they do.”
I agree. The love, joy, growth and fullness that my children have brought to my life is incalculable, certainly not something that could be measured on a test. But like other mothers, sometimes I don’t readily see it.
To help that, we can reflect on and even create a Love List of what we love about being a mother. Whether it’s the post-bathtub baby smell, simple but sweet hugs, attending choir concerts or sporting events, receiving heartfelt misspelled notes from a young child, or enjoying a connecting conversation with a teenager, these indefinable but most definitely fulfilling moments make motherhood matter.
A 'Studio 5' discussion
VIDEO: Fall in love with motherhood, again
For additional points of loving motherhood, click the link above to watch Connie's Feb. 6 segment on "Studio 5 with Brooke Walker".Get “lovely” with homemaking.Recently I visited a friend who has five young children. As I entered the home, I immediately felt welcome. It was clean and tidy (but not obsessively), and nicely decorated (but not effusively). The whole place spoke “cozy” and I told her, “Your home is lovely!” She gratefully said something I’ve not forgotten: “Thank you! It takes a lot of energy to be a homemaker.” And so it does.
Consider one way to make your home, or homemaking, a little lovelier. Is it clear counters? Fresh flowers, new dishes or placemats? A friend is saving up for new couches, so for now she is purchasing colorful cushions to update the look. Think “lovely” and in a simple way make your home a place you love to be.
Love without comparing to the Joneses.
Author Maria Shriver shares in her book, "Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before Going Out Into the World", “There are all kinds of mothers. Figure out what kind of parent you want to be — and don’t compare yourself to anyone. … Which would make me feel worse: if my kids said, ‘You’re never around!’ or if Diane Sawyer got the Boris Yeltsin interview?”
As mothers, it’s easy to compare our weakness (or hot button) to someone else’s strength and come up wanting. But our children want to enjoy us, their mother, not someone else’s.
As mothers, it's easy to compare our weakness (or hot button) to someone else's strength and come up wanting. But our children want to enjoy us, their mother, not someone else's.
And that goes for comparing our children to others. Rather than wish a child was more like the neighbor’s, see the wonder and blessing of who he or she is right now, even when it’s not part of our parental expectations.
Author Chieko Okazaki says in "Lighten Up", “The most realistic expectation we can make of ourselves is to do our best. We should not expect to control outcomes, either for ourselves or our children.” Write down a few traits and talents — the inner and outer — of your children and see them as their wonderful selves. Share with them in a note or a compliment how much you appreciate these amazing parts of who they are.
Motherhood brings a multitude of happiness and hard days, and both are part of the vital role of raising another beautiful being. Take a minute to enjoy the moments you love in motherhood.
For additional points of loving motherhood, watch my Feb. 6 segment on "Studio 5 with Brooke Walker". I'm also available anytime at www.conniesokol.com.
Connie Sokol is an author, speaker, TV contributor and mother of seven. Contact her at www.conniesokol.com.
