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SALT LAKE CITY — As details emerge about Monday's murder-suicide involving a couple that had a history of domestic violence, one of Deborah Vaughn's friends said Tuesday it's a story that should never have to be told and one she once feared might be told about her own life.
One in three women will be impacted by domestic violence. That means virtually everyone knows someone who has or is currently experiencing abuse — and they may not even know it.
Jennifer Gardiner, friend to Vaughn, was also abused by her husband. She survived.
"I don't even know how many times he hit me in the face," she said.
"I honestly really wish that I'd left after the first hit."
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Slain couple had history of domestic violence, police say
A divorced couple found dead in a Poplar Grove neighborhood Monday following an apparent murder-suicide had a history of domestic violence-related incidents, police said.Gardiner said it took a few more years before her husband did it again. "I thought he had really learned that lesson."
Over the course of their ten-year marriage, he abused her more than a dozen times, she said.
"I got out because I nearly died." Since then, Gardiner has had six reconstructive surgeries.
"I have six plates and eight screws that basically hold my face together," she said.
Gardiner said she's lucky to be alive. She learned Tuesday that her friend Vaughn was shot and killed by her ex-husband Calvin Eatchel Monday afternoon.
- Domestic violence is one of the fastest growing and most serious violent crimes in Utah today.
- Utah is 15th highest in the nation for rape according to the 2000 FBI uniform reports. There were 869 rapes in 2006.
- In 2007, 18 individuals were murdered in Utah were domestic violence related homicides. Source: National Council Against Domestic Violence
- The Utah Office of the Guardian ad Litem reports that one in three girls and one in five boys will be sexually assaulted by the age of 18. For more information and resources for help, click here.Source: National Council Against Domestic Violence
Gardiner said she wished both she and Vaughn knew the warning signs of domestic abuse. Two big ones, according to a representative of the YMCA are if the person has a history of abuse or if they have issues with control.
"I don't know that Debbie would have ever thought that he would have killed her," she said.
Gardiner said Vaughn and her ex-husband had five children together. Vaughn had gone to pickup their son when Eatchel pulled out a gun.
Gardiner said one of the children witnessed their mother's murder.
"She's going to have to have the image edged into her brain for the rest of her life," Gardiner said.
She doesn't know how Vaughn's children will heal through the loss of both their parents, but she said her life was saved because of her own.
"I said, 'please don't let this be the way that I go. I don't want my children to have to say my mom was killed.' And now Debbie's kids have to say that," she said.
