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SALT LAKE CITY — Foremothers in our nation’s history have paved the way for women to dream big. They have broken barriers, defied odds and proven that women can achieve anything.
We have a legacy left by women like pilot Amelia Earhart and founder of the American Red Cross Clara Barton. Sally Ride was the first woman in space and Sandra Day O’Connor was the first female U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Katie Couric was the first woman to solo anchor the evening news.
Because of these American women — and other women like them — generations of girls have been taught they could be anything they wanted: doctors, lawyers, scientists, teachers, authors.
We love being mothers because we dreamed about that too. But over time, the rest of our dreams — the ones we willingly and lovingly put on hold — faded. They dissolved.
In this modern world of equal rights, women really can do anything. My own mother taught me, “you’re smart enough to do anything you want to do — if you put your mind to it.”
And then we became mothers.
I believe there is a silent epidemic affecting moms today — an epidemic of dissolved dreams.
We are women with hearts full of dreams, who also became mothers. We love being mothers because we dreamed about that too. But over time, the rest of our dreams — the ones we willingly and lovingly put on hold — faded. They dissolved.
We teach our children to dream big, just as we were taught to dream big. But now, as moms, many of us feel like dreaming big for ourselves is no longer permitted — often convincing ourselves being a mom is enough.
For some women it is enough, and that’s wonderful. But for many, we have forgotten who we are, and the dream of motherhood alone is not enough to bring us joy.
But the guilt stirred from these feelings keeps us from speaking up about our long lost goals. We are afraid other women are going to judge us for complaining or not loving motherhood enough.
The truth is: We are not meant to have guilt or frustration. We are meant to have joy. We are meant to have a heart full of dreams.
I'm currently raising a paleontologist and an author/illustrator. They know I believe in them, and I hope to show them by example how to have a dream, set a goal and achieve it.
So, how do we stop this epidemic?
The first step is always awareness. We must realize that it is alright for us to dream big and still be great mothers. Dreams are real and we should pay attention to the burning in our hearts telling us it’s now time to make those little girl dreams reality.
Next, we must allow our dreams to resurface and work to make them a reality. I believe as mothers we are responsible for the dream building of our children. We can choose to not only tell our children they can dream big, but show them too — especially our daughters.
I’m currently raising a paleontologist and an author/illustrator. They know I believe in them, and I hope to show them by example how to have a dream, set a goal and achieve it.
It’s important because they are the next generation of great Americans.
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*Nicole Carpenter is the founder of www.MOMentity.c om and the creator of The MOMentity Process. She is a communications consultant, writer and speaker. She and her husband are raising four children, 7 years and younger, including twin toddlers.**
