Parenting takes patience, especially when dealing with dishes and fish

Estimated read time: 3-4 minutes

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SALT LAKE CITY — My 4-year-old son was standing on a stool over the sink, water dripping off his elbows and onto the floor. He was on dish duty. Next to him, his 7-year-old sister was sweeping the floor — in circles. I was standing nearby, trying to keep my cool.

Why I decided tonight was the night to assign my big kids chores and follow through on teaching them how to do them, I’m not sure. Maybe I was overcome with guilt that I hadn’t done it sooner.

It’s just so much easier to send them off to play, or finish their homework, or keep their younger brothers entertained while I clean up the kitchen. Alone.

All I could think about was the Chinese proverb: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” And it just made me mad.

I came to one, simple conclusion: the author of this proverb only ever taught grown men — not young children. Had he taught young children, he would have included a line about patience (or not finished the proverb at all.)

By now I could have done the dishes, swept and mopped the floor, and moved on to bath time. Only after I described the kitchen floor as a giant tic-tac-toe board did my daughter begin to see the value in sweeping in sections.

It’s just so much easier to do it myself.

I know. I know. The purpose of being a mother is to teach your children to fend for themselves, to prepare them for the world. To give them skills to fish (or do dishes, sweep floors, and probably laundry too). I bet I should even do so with a smile, gentle touch and warm countenance.

Maybe I’m just still exhausted from changing diapers and keeping toddlers from running into the street. Parenthood is tough stuff.

But they are worth it. My kids are worth it. I want them to know how to fish.

So I take a deep breath and find my center. With it comes some much needed patience. I tell them both what a great job they did and walk over to give them hugs — my feet crunching on cookie crumbs.

I tell my daughter how much I appreciate her help. I thank my son for keeping most of the water inside the sink.

And I convince myself I’m excited to repeat this experience tomorrow night.

About the Author: Nicole Carpenter ----------------------------------

*Nicole and her husband are raising four children, 7 years and younger, including twin boys. All of them growing up way to fast. She is a communication consultant and founder of www.MOMentity.com. She blogs at www.MyEverthingElse.com.**