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SALT LAKE CITY -- An e-mail, text or instant messages are convenient ways to communicate with our increasingly busy and tech-savvy kids. But, much like a baby is soothed by a lullaby, your children respond better to your voice.
Texting is a common way for mother-daughter duo Jennie and Emma Gochnour to communicate. On average, they'll fire back and forth 5-10 texts per day and chat over the phone a couple of times too.
"This morning I called her and told her to come up for breakfast," Jennie Gochnor said.
But even this tech-savvy teenager admits sometimes gadgets get in the way.
"Face-to-face is a lot easier because I don't have to explain myself as well because she gets when I need some extra help," Emma said.
In a new study, published in the January issue of the Evolution and Human Behavior, researchers observed four groups of girls, ages 7 and 12, taking a math test. The first group didn't talk to their mothers at all; another group talked over the phone; the third had to face-to-face conversation; and the last group communicated electronically.
"(Instant messaging) isn't really a substitute for in-person or over-the-phone interaction in terms of the hormones released," said Leslie Seltzer of the University of Wisconsin, who lead the new study in an interview with Wired Magazine. "People still need to interact the way we evolved to interact."
Researchers then measured the girls' cortisol and oxytocin levels, two hormones related to stress. Girls who heard their mother's voice, either in person or on the phone, were consoled: their oxytocin levels rose and cortisol levels dropped. But in the other groups, hormone levels barely changed.
"When we just use text to communicate with our kids we are missing their cues of distress," said Julie Hanks with Wasatch Family Therapy. "They may say I'm fine - you hear them, ‘I'm fine.' And they are not fine. So you miss the emotional cues."
She said that text is very good for communicating information, but that conveying emotion takes talking in person.
"It doesn't matter how many smiley faces you put in your IM. It's not going to have the same effect as talking in person," Seltzer told Wired.
Email: bwalker@ksl.com