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AM 820's Dr. Liz Hale ReportingOne-quarter of adults between the ages of 18 and 35 have grown up in divorced families. Today's adult children of divorce are helping researchers determine the long-term effects of parental divorce on children.
In a first-ever national study, the grown children of divorce tell us there's no such thing as a "good" divorce. On average, people from divorced families have more marital difficulties than do their cohorts from intact families, and the majority will divorce at least once. Marriages where both spouses come from divorced parents are over three times more likely to dissolve than those who didn't experience parental divorce.
Roger: "I wanted to break that cycle [of divorce], so I hung in there and hung in there."
The instability typical of divorcing families often instills in children a pervasive lack of trust in their romantic partner. Both Roger and his ex-wife came from divorced parents.
Roger: "And I even told her, 'I don't need you!' I can't believe I said that; that was how I grew up."
Some professionals in the field believe that while divorce is sometimes necessary, there is no such thing as a good divorce. Even amicable divorces sow lasting inner conflict in the lives of children.
Eric: "When we first got divorced it was really hard."
Although Eric wanted to keep his marriage together for the sake of his children, he and his wife divorced when their daughters were just one and three-years old. He says he wasn't prepared for the painful realities of divorce.
Eric: "Had to pry her arms from around my neck. It's not a memory I like."
Some marriages are destructive and divorce is a vital safety valve, but it's not the abusive marriages that constitute the majority of the divorces. Eighty-five to 90% of all divorces result from low-conflict marriages.
Roger: "And if there's any possible way to not divorce, you don't know what effect it will have on your kids."
This study was conducted by Elizabeth Marqardt, a scholar with the Institute for American Values.
