Domestic violence vigil remembers slain, offers advice for victims

Domestic violence vigil remembers slain, offers advice for victims

(Kristin Murphy, KSL)


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OREM — Drawing on the #metoo campaign’s spotlight on sexual assault and harassment, anti-domestic violence advocates gathered for a vigil at Utah Valley University Monday evening.

A group of about 50 held candles in tiny plastic cups as they marched behind a bagpipe, honoring survivors and remembering loved ones who have died of domestic or intimate-partner violence.

Three such deaths in the last year have had ties to Utah County, advocates noted during a gathering in a classroom ahead of the vigil. The victims included Jill Lloyd, who was killed by Andrew Jed Larsen, the father of her child, as she sat in the middle of a West Jordan street in her car in June. He later killed himself.

Violence targeting loved ones “is no small thing in our county. It is no small thing on our campus,” said Susan Madsen, a UVU professor of management whose research focuses on women and leadership.

Each year, 169,000 intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes are committed against women, according to Utah Department of Health data from 2011, the most recent available. Intimate-partner violence pertains to relationships that do not necessarily involve marriage or living together.

The Monday gathering hosted by Orem's Center for Women and Children in Crisis comes as thousands of women have come forward as victims in the wake of sexual misconduct allegations spanning decades against movie mogul Harvey Weinstein, posting #metoo across social media. The center said the national groundswell, in part, spurred the vigil.

Heather Wolsey speaks before a domestic violence awareness candlelight vigil hosted by the Center for Women and Children in Crisis at Utah Valley University in Orem on Monday, Oct. 23, 2017. (Photo: Kristin Murphy, KSL)
Heather Wolsey speaks before a domestic violence awareness candlelight vigil hosted by the Center for Women and Children in Crisis at Utah Valley University in Orem on Monday, Oct. 23, 2017. (Photo: Kristin Murphy, KSL)

Utah is not immune, but help is available.

Heather Wolsey, an advocate, noted police departments generally have victim advocates who can help figure out an escape plan — and victims don't have to file an official police report to meet with them.

That's in addition to hotlines that can give guidance to victims who feel physically and financially trapped by abusers in control of their lives and bank accounts, Wolsey said.

Ten years into her marriage and with six kids, Wolsey and her husband maintained the veneer of a perfect family, she said, but all was not well. She left him, and in 2016, he was convicted of stalking and violating a protective order and sent to prison.

"I went through a lot of dark days," she said, but "we live in one of the most wonderful communities. There’s so many caring people that want to help."

She also had advice for what to do when friends disclose they're being abused.

"Believe them," Wolsey said. "Try and reach out and get them the help they need."

The Utah Domestic Violence Coalition hotline is 1(800)897-5465.

Domestic violence resources
  • The Utah Domestic Violence Coalition has a statewide, 24-hour hotline for victims of domestic violence at 1-800-897-LINK (5465).
  • The Division of Child and Family Services offers counseling, teaches parenting skills and conflict resolution and can connect the family with community resources. Their goal is to keep children with their family when it is "possible and safe," according to their website. Visitdcfs.utah.gov/questions/or call 1-800-323-DCFS (3237) for resources or to report child abuse or neglect.
  • The Christmas Box House acts as a temporary shelter for children and can provide them with new clothing and shoes, among other services. Call the Salt Lake office at 801-747-2201 or the Ogden office at 801-866-0350.

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