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Before her diagnosis in 1994, Nicole Bryant thought breast cancer didn't happen to black women like her.
She was the first in a large family of women -- many, much older than she -- to become ill.
Today, the 54-year-old mother, cancer survivor and author is on a mission to educate black women that they, in fact, are most at risk for dying from the disease.
According to statistics from the American Cancer Society, breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death for black women, in large part due to a trend of late-stage detection that can minimize treatment options.
It is the second leading cause of cancer death in women, exceeded only by lung cancer.
"Once we get past the myths, and we understand what the disease is and how it develops, I do believe there are things we can do to minimize our risk," Bryant said. "We have some issues to overcome."
Bryant, a resident of East Carondelet and East St. Louis Housing Authority employee, recently self-published a book chronicling her experiences with cancer. Chapters such as "The Phantom Breast Blues" and "Beyond the Shadows" are candid reflections from "Breastlessness: What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do," a project the first-time author completed over 10 years.
She says the writing began as a self-prescribed healing, and quickly evolved into a need to help other women.
"I didn't want them to come out of the diagnosis and not know what to do," she said. "So I wrote something women can be empowered by."
More than a decade ago, Bryant was living in Oakland, Calif., when she felt the lump in her left breast while taking a shower. It was the size of an avocado seed and had seemed to appear overnight.
Today, she regrets twice canceling doctor visits that might have made the prospect of cancer her top health priority, before she got sick.
"I don't know what I was doing in April or July of 1993 that would have been more important than keeping those breast check appointments," Bryant said.
Despite her discovery in July 1994, Bryant again avoided having a mammography. For nearly two months, she says she rationalized job obligations over the need for medical attention.
She hoped the lump would one day vanish. Fear that it wouldn't seized her step.
When she finally visited a gynecologist in September that year, Bryant says the news she received turned the room black. The doctor confirmed that the 2 1/2 centimeter tumor Bryant had found was accompanied by a prominent cyst. Both were symptoms of a latter stage two (of four stages) breast cancer diagnosis.
Her doctor gave her few options to weigh during the 30 days that followed. She should seek other medical opinion. Bryant, a devoted grandmother, also should prepare for either of two surgeries.
A lumpectomy would remove the tumor and surrounding tissue in Bryant's left breast. The operation alone could not guarantee the removal of all diseased cells, and would need to be backed by chemotherapy and rounds of radiation.
A modified radical mastectomy would remove her entire breast, leaving flatness and a scar behind.
"I was scared and felt like a little kid. I knew nothing about the disease then," Bryant remembers. "At that moment, there was a bigger picture -- the fact that this could end my life."
Bryant chose to alter the physical form that contained her womanhood, or so she thought. In October 1994, a mastectomy was performed.
She spent the first two weeks avoiding mirrors.
"You have to go through a process where you relearn what beauty is. It's unfortunate that we live in a society that tells us our breasts matter more than our hearts," Bryant said. "It wasn't until I lost my breast that I began to let go."
Bryant's journey of recovery and revived self-image has sparked a fresh hunger for life, she says. She spends her days learning to love a new body -- a series of reconstructive breast surgeries took place from 1995 to 1996. She embraces nature -- a vacation to celebrate five years without cancer took a group of girlfriends through Caribbean rainforests in 1999.
Most of all, she commits to telling women about breast cancer as part of a speaker series that visits senior citizen centers, churches and prisons.
"The fact that you're born a woman makes you at risk for the disease," she said. "It's as simple as that."
Bryant hopes the dialogue on breast cancer will soon become ordinary talk for women, especially among African-Americans.
"We need to start talking about it and writing about it," she said, "and not just during Awareness Month."
The back pages of "Breastlessness" list numerous resources for women, including free screening clinics and support hot lines in the metro-east and across the nation.
Visit www.breastlessness.com to purchase a book for $15.99.
Contact reporter Ashley Tusan Joyner at ajoyner@bnd.com or 239-2562.
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