From breakup texts to 'I do': How AI is reshaping modern relationships


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KEY TAKEAWAYS
  • AI is increasingly used for connection in Utah, impacting relationships significantly.
  • A BYU professor notes AI's role in romantic interactions is growing rapidly.
  • AI's emotional validation can complicate real relationships, raising concerns among experts.

SALT LAKE CITY — Many Utahns use artificial intelligence to search the internet or speed up everyday tasks. But increasingly, people are turning to Artificial Intelligence tools for something else: connection.

Some users are chatting with AI as if it were a friend, a therapist, and even a love interest.

Several Utahns told KSL they use AI frequently. "When I first got it, I was like, 'Wow, this is the future,'" Rafael Rodriguez said. "I was talking to it and everything."

Sisters Rebekah and Rachel both said they use AI daily, mostly for practical needs. Rebekah said she has turned to a chatbot for recipes, help deciding what car to buy, and even writing breakup texts. Rachel has asked AI for help during conflicts.

Rodriguez said its influence is everywhere. "It hits society, it hits relationships, it hits the dating scene," he said.

The impact of AI on relationships is something researchers are studying.

Brian Willoughby, a Brigham Young University professor and international expert in couple and marital relationships, said AI is now playing a larger role in romantic interactions.

"What we're finding is that this is a very prevalent and increasingly common behavior," he said.

Willoughby's research shows nearly 1 in 3 young adult men and 1 in 4 young adult women in the United States have chatted with an AI boyfriend or girlfriend. And among those who use AI in this way, more than 1 in 5 prefer interacting with an AI partner over a real human.

Communities online — including large groups on Reddit — share stories and information about AI companions. One user even made headlines for holding a ceremony to wed an AI chatbot.

But despite its prevalence, finding users willing to talk about it on camera proved difficult, which was no surprise to Willoughby.

"Because it's a taboo topic, because there's stigma, because there could be shame, because they assume that the response you'll give me is, 'That's stupid, that's not a real thing, that's a robot, what's wrong with you?' that makes them very hesitant to be open," he explained.

Willoughby has spoken with people who have found love with AI and said he has noticed something they have in common.

"The one common thread across all of them has been loneliness," he said. "They talk about how modern young adulthood is so isolating."

One man told Willoughby that AI has become a lifeline.

"He said, 'I've come to the place in my life where I will no longer be in a human relationship unless they can accept my AI girlfriend. Because I will never give this up,'" Willoughby said.

Willoughby said he does believe AI can make it even harder for some people to navigate real relationships.

"People can form an emotional attachment to an AI chatbot extremely quickly because all it's doing is validating," he said. "The problem is human relationships don't work this way."

Some Utahns said they've used AI like a therapist — something University of Utah educational psychology professor Zac Imel said is understandable.

"In psychotherapy, the conversation is the treatment," Imel said.

He compares it to the way people once turned to WebMD before seeing a doctor. Now, some people talk to AI before meeting with a therapist. That could be helpful in some cases, he said, especially when accessing care feels overwhelming — but there's little data showing long-term outcomes.

"We don't have a great understanding of all of the downsides yet," Imel said.

Willoughby agreed that some AI tools — specifically clinical, specialized ones — may help people build social skills or confidence. But he distinguishes them from large, consumer-facing chatbots.

Most Utahns interviewed told KSL their AI use is limited to productivity, but they can understand why others turn to AI for a deeper connection.

"I can see it," Rebekah said. "If someone was really lonely … I can understand how it'd be easy to fall into that."

The Key Takeaways for this article were generated with the assistance of large language models and reviewed by our editorial team. The article, itself, is solely human-written.

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Daniella Rivera, KSLDaniella Rivera
Daniella Rivera joined the KSL team in September 2021. She’s an investigative journalist with a passion for serving the public through seeking and reporting truth.

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