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SALT LAKE CITY — In the past week, five youths along the Wasatch Front died sudden, violent deaths.
The three events are unrelated, but families and friends are all coping with the grief of young lives cut short at the hands of others. The larger community, too, is struggling to make sense of the spate of violence.
There are no simple answers why these things happen, says David Kozlowski, founder and executive director of Quit Trip'n, a nonprofit organization that conducts community support groups for teens and young adults dealing with a wide variety of stressors such as grief, traumatic life events, relationship issues, bullying and suicidal ideation.
"We don't have to make sense of it. We just have to work with it and understand how to deal with it," Kozlowski said.
His advice?
"Your interactions with your friends, with your families, your face-to-face interactions are the best drug you could ever possibly experience your whole entire life. It's not a bad drug. It's a healthy drug," said Kozlowski, a licensed therapist and former University of Utah football player.
Dr. Todd Thatcher, chief medical officer of Valley Behavioral Health, recommends that people attempting to process recent events plug into their respective communities, talk it out and reach out for professional help if they need it.
Within families, "the No. 1 thing you need to be doing with your kids after something like this is talking," Thatcher said.
But parents should take care not to do all the talking or assume the child feels the same way they do, he said.
"Try to resist that and simply let your child talk because, surprisingly, your child may be dealing with this very well or your child may have different concerns than you do. So open up the discussion, speak frankly, age appropriate, of course. Use phrases like, 'They've died' so it's very clear but then allow them to talk," Thatcher said.
"Let kids know, especially if they are nervous or afraid, let them know that you're part of some sort of community organization," he said, citing family, church and cultural communities as examples. "(Let kids know) that we're all here to help you; we're supporting you."
Communities often gather in vigils in the wake of tragedy, rituals that Thatcher says have tremendous value in terms of people feeling connected to one another but also on a base, physical level.
Let kids know, especially if they are nervous or afraid, let them know that you're part of some sort of community organization. ...(Let kids know) that we're all here to help you; we're supporting you.
–Dr. Todd Thatcher, Valley Behavioral Health
People came together Thursday night in Midvale to honor siblings Abril Izazaga, 15, and her brother, Jose Izazaga, 16, who were shot to death outside their apartment unit late Wednesday. Unified police believe the girl owed a man money for a shirt that led to an altercation, culminating in the fatal gunshots.
"Wherever you connect and plug into, do that," Thatcher said. "Lean on those support systems. Feel connected. One of the reasons we enjoy social interaction so much is it actually activates parts of our brain that are associated with pleasure, and these nice, pleasurable feelings wash over us. It helps us feel less depressed. It makes us feel better, more hopeful for the future, all those emotions that are coming from the brain. Interacting with other people actually triggers that."
The siblings' deaths comes on the heels of a drive-by shooting in the Fairpark neighborhood that resulted in the death of 16-year-old Paris Gustin.
Gustin was traveling with two other teenage boys near 600 North and 1000 West when gunshots were fired into their car from another vehicle Tuesday night, Salt Lake police said. The suspect fled.
Last week, 20-year-old Madi Haan, of West Point, and 19-year-old Tyler Christianson, of Ogden, died from injuries sustained in a high-speed, rear-end collision in Roy. The pair was struck by a car that court records said was traveling 98 mph and being driven by a teenage girl who told police she was trying to kill herself.
Marilee Patricia Gardner, 16, has been charged as an adult with two counts of first-degree felony murder, for allegedly crashing her car on purpose and killing two people.
Jose Izazaga, 16, and his sister, Abril Izazaga, 15, were shot multiple times at close range Wednesday night because of an argument that apparently started over money owed for a shirt, said Unified Police Lt. Lex Bell. Read more ...
Paris Gustin, 16, of Salt Lake City, was inside a Honda with two other juveniles when shots were fired from someone in another vehicle in Salt Lake City's Fairpark neighborhood. The search continued Thursday for the gunman who shot and killed Gustin. Read more ...
Maddison Haan, 20, of West Point, was killed instantly when the Hyundai Accent she was driving was slammed from behind by an SUV driven by 16-year-old Marilee Patricia Gardner, police say. The passenger in the Hyundai, Tyler Christianson, 19, of Ogden, was taken to McKay-Dee Hospital where he also died from injuries he sustained in the crash Thursday, June 30, 2016. Read more ...
Kozlowski said he didn't know any of the five youths who died personally, but his work with teens has taught him that a generation that communicates primarily through digital means loses out on opportunities to better understand nonverbal cues of communication, and that results in conflict.
"What I've found and what the research is finding is that violence with teenagers is at a high. Suicide is at an all-time high. It's ridiculously high right now. Self-harm is at an all-time high — depression, anxiety, all of these things," Kozlowski said.
"What I'm finding out is they don't have the opportunity, safe environment, and they're not being taught or trained how to build, maintain and improve close intimate relationships because their face-to-face opportunities are very limited," he said.
Both Thatcher and Kozlowski said there are numerous community resources that can assist people struggling with grief, anxiety, depression or feeling disconnected.
"It's OK to struggle with mental health issues. It really is OK. What's not OK is to not get the help," Thatcher said.
"The earlier people get involved, the better the outcomes are."
Valley Behavioral Health has a wide array of resources, which can be accessed at valleycares.com or by calling 888-949-4864
Quit Trip'n offers social therapy groups for youths in South Jordan and Pleasant Grove.
Round-the-clock assistance is also available through the University Neuropsychiatric Institute's CrisisLine, 801-587-3000.
Contributing: Jed Boal
