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Jed Boal ReportingIn two recent high-profile stories, men were the victims of domestic violence. Abuse counselors say many people, even in shelters, automatically think of men as the batterers, but hey can be the victims and can find help.
Jon was a victim of emotional abuse in his marriage.
Jon: "I was in a trap."
He accepts his share of responsibility, but says his wife abused him, talked down to him and called him names. She kicked him out of the house and got a protective order against him.
Jon: "I got to the point where I had no self-esteem, no confidence. I had no job, nowhere to staty."
Each year nationally, 275-thousand men are assaulted by their wives or girlfriends. In Utah, the Office on Violence Against Women and Families and the Utah Domestic Violence Council report the number of men seeking help is growing. But men, like Jon, don't often ask for help.
Jon: "The man is automatically the bad guy, so I had to defend myself a lot."
He ended up at the South Valley Sanctuary in West Jordan, one of only two treatment centers in the state that admit men. Executive Director Patricia Cox says society rarely sees men as the victims. The men themselves, usually cannot bring themselves to say these words.
Patricia Cox, Executive Director, South Valley Sanctuary: "You know, 'I'm being beaten up by my wife.'"
They tell themselves it wasn't that bad and can't see themselves moving out.
Patricia Cox, Executive Director, South Valley Sanctuary: "They'll take it and take it and take it until they can't take it anymore."
Counselors see emotional abuse more often than physical abuse, but it can be startling.
Patricia Cox: "To see a man, a good sized man, come in looking like a whipped dog."
The more individuals come forward, the more our community will become aware.
Patricia Cox: "Don't take it just because you're a man. Nobody deserves to be abused, whether it's emotionally, physically, sexually."
As for Jon, counseling helped him get his self-esteem back. He has a job and home where he lives with his son.
