Estimated read time: 4-5 minutes
This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replaying the story in its archived form does not constitute a republication of the story.
SYRACUSE — Waiting in the doctor's office, I flip through a magazine. Inside the pages are pictures of beautiful women posing as mothers. Their blouses are wrinkle-free with no sign of stains. Their shoes are darling. The children standing next to them are perfectly poised and dressed in swanky little outfits. Their skin is flawless and their teeth are bright white.
I remind myself they are airbrushed and professionally posed. The reminder is necessary even though I have fresh highlights in my hair.
I login to my new Pinterest app and see decadent cupcakes in darling cupcake liners. I find a picture of a fancy chicken dish with healthy vegetables topped with a sprig of parsley — which is apparently super easy to make even though it looks really hard.
Related:
Seventeen magazine: We celebrate all shapes, sizes
Score one for girl power. A 14-year-old Maine ballet dancer who led a crusade against altered photos in Seventeen magazine now has a promise from top editor Ann Shoket to leave body shapes alone.There are also images of tight tummies showing no signs of pregnancy and parents who list 101 memorable things I should be doing with my children but am not.
I remind myself the pictures are taken with really nice cameras and Pinners only pin their wishes, hopes and ideals. The reminder is necessary even though I make cute cupcakes and bounced back after delivering twins.
I check my Facebook feed. Life is inflated over there, too.
Every day, every single one of us fights this same battle of accepting ourselves for who we are or comparing ourselves to these perfect images. With the media constantly surrounding us, it’s any wonder that we as >mothers have any self-worth at all.
When you look at it this way, it makes complete sense why we forget our value as a woman, wife and mother. We get caught in comparisons; and what’s even worse, usually we are comparing our weaknesses with someone else’s strengths. We would never allow our children to do this, so why do we?
But the truth is, I love all the technology around me. I love Facebook and have been really inspired by Pinterest. So how do we survive in this world of airbrushed images and perceived perfect parents living down the street?
First, let go of the guilt.
We live in a culture where we place upon ourselves false ideals of what we should be as a wife, mother, daughter and friend. These false ideals are created from these overstated images all around us, and we usually fall short of achieving them because they are not genuine to who we are meant to be.
If we can let go of the guilt we feel when we don’t live up to these inflated standards, we can set ourselves free to love ourselves and be true to ourselves.
Second, acknowledge you're own uniqueness.
You have strengths and gifts unique to you. Even though you were created in the likeness of God, you are rare. No one else is just like you. You are an individual. This means you are irreplaceable.
You mean so much to your family — so much to your children. They are relying on you to be the best you so they can become the great person they are meant to be.
Third, stop judging!
There is no perfect. We’ve already established that we are not perfect, so why do we expect others to be perfect? Why do we judge someone when they handle a situation differently than we would? Why do we judge someone when they make choices contrary to our own? I see this happen all the time.
We must stop.
It is not our place to judge. We do not know enough — we have not walked in each other's shoes. Let’s just love ourselves — because when we judge someone else it is usually coming from our own insecurities — and allow those around us to be valuable in their own right.
Fourth, focus on your strengths.
When we are aware of our weaknesses and our strengths, we can focus on the things we do well and not fret over the things that we are not good at. We can use our strengths to bless those around us.
If we still must compare, then lets compare who we are now with who we want to become, so long as we value our individuality and work — guilt free — to become better people.
*
*Nicole Carpenter is the founder of www.MOMentity.com and the creator of The MOMentity Process. She is a communications consultant, writer and speaker. She and her husband are raising four children, 7 years and younger, including twin toddlers.**
