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SALT LAKE CITY — My daughter and son-in-law were home for dinner last week. The young couple is expecting their first child any day, and the after-dinner conversation naturally turned to the upcoming birth.
My son-in-law, in his “I know everything” style, loudly announced that their life wouldn’t change much after the baby came. I did not laugh, I didn’t even smile; I sort of lost track of the conversation after that. I became lost in all the memories of the changes that the birth of our first child caused.
All the preparation in the world is insufficient when confronted by reality. At the moment mom and baby arrive home from the hospital, things change.
I had thought that I was ready for the arrival of our first child. All the preparation in the world is insufficient when confronted by reality. At the moment mom and baby arrive home from the hospital, things change.
Going anywhere, at that point, has suddenly become an exercise in logistics akin to the 8th Army moving out. Diapers, diaper bag, baby wipes, bottles, formula, car seat, stroller, blankets, a change of clothes — the list of things to bring goes on. Should you forget any of this, what is missing is exactly what you need within 10 minutes of leaving home.
A bit of alone time for the parents entails similar logistical issues, with the addition of finding a trustworthy babysitter to be considered.
A full, unbroken night’s sleep becomes a thing of the past, with late nights and early mornings spent logging hours and hours of rocking chair time.
Loss of sleep is just the start: there will be potty training and play dates, the flu and chicken pox, school plays and parent teacher conferences, soccer games and dance recitals, dates and driver licenses. And from the time the child can speak, the “can I go?” question is asked over and over.
Yep, my son-in-law's life is gonna change.
My daughter’s voice snapped me back to the conversation, and she came to give me a hug and kiss as she and her husband were leaving. As I put my arms around her and looked into her eyes, a whole different set of memories came rushing back.
I remembered the downy head nuzzled into my neck late at night and early in the morning as I logged hours and hours of rocking chair time; squeals of excitement at the affirmative answer to the “can I go?” question.
All the preparation in the world is insufficient when confronted by reality. At the moment I had the first sight of my new daughter with her tiny hand reaching up from the Plexiglas incubator to grasp the end of my finger, the world changed.
I remembered the downy head nuzzled into my neck late at night and early in the morning as I logged hours and hours of rocking chair time; squeals of excitement at the affirmative answer to the “can I go?” question. All this and so much more, a whole lifetime of wonderful experiences that would never have happened without that single, life-changing event — the birth of a child.
It is the nature of the world that experience changes perspective. In the next few days, life and perspective will change and the world will become a much different place for my son-in-law. I see the humor and secretly laugh a bit, at his expense. But even more, I not-so-secretly envy him and the amazing adventure that he is about to begin. Yep, his life is gonna change.
Guy is a longtime educator, having taught and coached tennis and swimming. He is school safety and security administrator for the Bonneville School District in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Guy has been married for 26 years and has three children.
