My Story: A little difference turns into a big blessing

Estimated read time: 6-7 minutes

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If someone had asked me who Jim Abbott was seven years ago, I wouldn’t have a clue. But in 2005, I quickly learned about this great man — a former Major League Baseball pitcher — not from reading a book or watching a sports documentary; I learned all about him sitting in a hospital bed hours after our fourth son was born. Like Abbott, our son Samuel was born with only one hand.

Just moments before giving birth to Samuel, the doctor asked me if my 20- week ultrasound was normal. Assuming she meant that something was wrong, my heart sank.

“Yes, it was normal,” I said as I tried to figure out what she was talking about. And then I found out: She raised Samuel up to my view, and there was my brand new baby, missing a left hand.

It was a complete surprise to my husband and me. Tears started to roll down my cheek. I wasn’t sure what to think at that moment. He was beautiful, he was ours, I loved him with all my soul, and I knew he was a gift from Heaven sent specifically to our family — but what would this mean to him and to our family?

After the nurses weighed him, wiped him down and wrapped him in a blanket they handed him to me. My heart was overwhelmed, but I didn't have time to linger in the moment. Just seconds later, Samuel began grunting and struggling to breathe. The nurses quickly took him from me and rushed him off to the neonatal intensive care unit.

Now there were so many things weighing heavily on my mind; his life, his limb difference, and the emotions of being a new mom without a baby to hold and kiss.

In the quiet, my thoughts turned to the future when Samuel could run and play with his brothers. How will he play sports with just one hand? Baseball? Golf? Climb the monkey bars, ride a bike? These were things we never had to think about before, and now they were becoming questions that seemed impossible to answer at that moment.

About 30 minutes later, my husband returned from the NICU and asked me how I was feeling. Of course, I just cried over all the circumstances that were before us. My husband updated me on Samuel’s condition, telling me that the doctor’s thought that Samuel had pneumonia and he would have to stay in the NICU for a few weeks.

It was during those early morning post-delivery hours that I spent with my husband that I learned all about Jim Abbott, a professional baseball player that was born without his right hand. He learned to pitch, hit, catch and throw with one hand.

“Samuel will be just fine,” my husband assured me. “This will be a blessing to our family.”

Two days later we left the hospital without a baby, but over the next few days we were able to see — not yet hold — Samuel in the NICU. We had long talks with the doctors about Samuel’s status, and all the while my heart was earnestly praying that Samuel would be able to recover and come home with us. Samuel did recover and was able to come home just seven days after he was born, much earlier than the doctors predicted.

I know Samuel’s stay in the NICU was the Lord’s way of helping me focus on what really mattered. Yes, right at his birth I was anxious and very surprised about him not having a left hand. But a short time later I learned of his serious health condition which required him to be life-flighted to another hospital, and my prayers and thoughts quickly turned to his actual health and wellbeing. I was suddenly not at all worried about him missing five fingers.

Days turned into months and months turned into years, and we were able to see how Samuel adapted. He did things differently than our other kids, but he certainly still completed each stage of development perfectly in his own way.

When Samuel was about 4 years old he started referring to his left hand as his "bubble hand," a nickname that has stuck with him to this day.

Of course we still get asked the question that we have since day one: “What happened to his hand?” Or, “Why does his hand look so weird?“ As a protective mother I would always reply with a short, matter-of- fact answer: “Samuel was born without a left hand, but he can do everything you can do.” That usually would satisfy people’s curiosity, and they would stop staring and go on.

Samuel’s 5th birthday was a huge milestone for me. I was so excited for him, but at the same time I knew kindergarten was approaching. To me, this meant that Samuel was entering the "real world" all by himself and would have to respond to questions and teasing remarks without me standing beside him. I knew most people asked out of curiosity, but a few times children said it more in a teasing tone. I wanted to protect Samuel from those comments and those kind of situations but knew I couldn't forever.

I cried the day before school started, I cried the night before, and I cried when I dropped Samuel off on his first day of kindergarten. I was plagued by questions: Did we prepare him enough to face all the comments? Had we built his self esteem up enough to face everything?

The first day he came home pretty upset. I asked him what was wrong and he said a boy was following him around everywhere. I told him he probably just wanted to be his friend. He said, “No, mom, he just wanted to see my bubble hand.”

But just as he had made his own way through the developmental changes, Samuel made his way through this little trial. A few days later he told me that this little boy stopped following him around, because Samuel knew the boy just needed a good long look at his bubble hand.

Samuel successfully made it through kindergarten and has started first grade now. He tells us all about the comments or questions he still gets, but he says them in such a casual tone I think he is now used to answering them whenever he is surrounded by a new group of friends or classmates.

Just like his brothers, Samuel has learned to play baseball, golf, climb the monkey bars, put on and button a dress shirt — there is nothing we haven’t found Samuel able to do yet. His built-in determination has been a joy to watch.

We have all learned many things from Samuel. We have all learned to be less judgmental with people with physical disabilities. Before Samuel was born our boys would point out and stare at people in wheelchairs or other physical challenges. Now our boys hardly even say a word. If anything, we get the comment from them, “Look, mom, he has a bubble hand too!” It has been an unifying experience. The boys (we now have six of them) have become each other’s cheerleaders.

Thanks to Samuel and his bravery through challenges, over the years our family has come to realize that little differences can turn into big blessings.