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SALT LAKE CITY -- The sex abuse details about former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky at Penn State have many parents worried about protecting their children from predators.
The Sandusky case is -- safe to say -- disturbing to a lot of parents everywhere. A formally trusted, respected man protected by the establishment, now accused of molesting mmultiple victims over the years.
It is impossible for a parent to hear the Sandusky story without thinking about their own children's safety. No parent would be thrilled to send their child to a prestigious camp, thinking they were putting their child at danger.
Parents want their children active in sports or music, going to camp and spending time with friends. However, child advocates say it is important to find a balance between being aware and being cautious, as well as letting children grow up.
Related:
My Story: The pedophile, the child and me
Childhood sexual abuse touches the lives of an astonishing numer of us: one in four girls and one in six boys. It has a profound and devastating effect on the victim's personality and life. This is one man's recounting of the experience."What you don't want to do is shut the world down around your child," said Susanne Mitchell of the Children's Justice Center. "The more you can make your child feel the world is safe."
Mitchell said the Penn State case is an opportunity to give families a "heads up" about their children's safety.
- Use the buddy system when ever you are away from home - always keep a friend with you wherever you go.
- If someone is doing something they shouldn't or tries to hurt you, tell them to STOP, then tell your parents or tell someone you trust.
- Use your courage to speak up. Everyone has courage and the more you use it, the more it works for you.
- Be assertive and confident - it makes it harder for someone to take advantage of you.
- Trust your instincts. If something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't and it is best to avoid that situation.
- You never have to keep a secret from your parents. Tell them if something happened that upset or scared you.
- Don't ever give out personal information over the internet. Don't tell people your name, phone number, school or address, or even the state you live in.
- You are a special person and deserve to be safe!
Brenda Hess, who adopted children from an abusive home said she recognizes situations involving children differently now.
"I don't know that I would have before I got into this situation," Hess said. "I don't think I would have recognized the simple behaviors that indicate there's a problem."
So what can parents do to proactively protect their children?
Calmly teach your children to say "no" to situations that make them uncomfortable, telling a trusted adult if something does happen. Also, using a buddy system is effective so younger people aren't alone with adults.
"I think for the parents, the red flags: Why does this person want to spend time with my child when kids normally get on adults nerves after a certain amount of time?" Mitchell said.
Hess said to trust your instincts, even about someone the family trusts.
"I think it's even worse, because then they completely lose trust because this is a person who should have been protecting them," Hess said. "And instead, it's the person who hurt them."
Email: rpiatt@ksl.com
