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SALT LAKE CITY -- Some couples find the stress that arrives with the birth of a baby can strain their marriage relationship. Mental health experts increasingly say pre-baby counseling may help.
Therapist Julie Hanks, a licensed clinical social worker and director of Wasatch Family Therapy said research shows satisfaction drops for two-thirds of new parents within three years after the birth of their first child.
Counseling clinics and educators are now offering pre-baby counseling for couples who want to take action before the new baby arrives. And, the Wall Street Journal reports a growing number of hospitals, midwives and doulas are teaching relationship skills alongside childbirth education classes.
Hanks says new parents are rarely prepared for the relationship shift that often occurs after a new baby is born. Expectant couples usually go to prenatal check-ups, prepare the nursery, and stock up on diapers. But they may be blind-sided by the realities of new parenthood.
Sleep deprivation, financial stress, and additional household duties leave some new parents feeling overwhelmed and under-appreciated. Hanks says that can lead to a rise in conflict and hostility toward each other while emotional and physical intimacy diminish.
Challenges on relationships
- Sleep deprivation
- Additional duties and responsibilities
- Mom's focus shifts to caring for baby
- Dad may feel like outsider
- Mom's sex drive decreases
- Conversations focus on baby
- Possible postpartum depression
- Shifting roles
Pre-baby counseling and education:
- Learn communication skills to maintain strong relationship
- Maintain sexual and emotional connection
- Keep dad involved in parenting
- Prepare for division of household duties
- Decrease incidence of postpartum depression
The Journal cited two studies that show pre-delivery programs have shown some success.
Hanks also recommends the book "And Baby Makes Three" by John M Gottman, Ph.D. & Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D.
