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SALT LAKE CITY -- When children lose a parent or a sibling, they grieve differently than adults do.
"After the funeral and everyone goes home and it's quiet and you start to wonder, how life is going to continue," said Carrie Moore.
Carrie's husband, Brad, died in a corporate plane crash in January of 1996 near Malad, Idaho. The wives of the others killed became her support group, but there was no faith-based group for her three children, ages 7, 9 and 12.
Her son had already battled leukemia, twice.
"Tears started running down his face and he said, 'Mom, does God hate me? None of my friends have had to deal with what I've had to deal with, why is this happening to our family?' And that haunted me," she said.
One in seven children in Salt Lake and Utah counties lose a parent or sibling by the time he or she is 20.
In memory of her husband and for many children like hers, Moore created The Bradley Center for Grieving Children and Families. She studied other grief centers around the country and trained with the VA Chaplaincy program.
National statistics show that one in seven children in Salt Lake and Utah Counties lose a parent or sibling by the time he or she is 20.
Brooke Julian's father died in a plane crash when she was 4 and Miranda Robason's mother died of a heart attack when she was 3. Years later, their parents married, blending the families together.
"I think it definitely makes it so much easier when someone understands your situation and knows what you've gone through, and you can know that you're not alone," Julian said.
Added Robason, "because I have a family that understands me and people that have gone through this. They're there for me and it's easier for me to cope with it."
January 15, 2011 American Heritage School of South Jordan 11100 South Redwood Road 12:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m.
Families of all faiths who have lost a loved one will meet for 18 months in the evenings at American Heritage School in South Jordan at 11100 South Redwood Road. First they gather as a group. Then, the younger children go to the preschool classroom where they will find toys, stuffed animals and other things to make them comfortable. The teenagers may use the library, a place of reflection.
"It's a very comfortable, safe secure type environment here. In many ways it feel very homey, and I think it's important for families who are going through this kind of thing," Moore said. "The outside world does not tend to feel safe. It can be a very unforgiving place, especially for children and teenagers who now are different from their peers and don't want to be different from their peers. When they come to a place like this, they know that the people they talk with and get to know are going through the very same thing they're going through."
Moore believes it will become a place of acceptance where children find help talking about faith, loss and healing.
"Frankly it is the fulfillment of a dream I've had for a long time," Moore said. "I have watched so many people go through this process and hurt and not feel that they were ever really listened to or that their concerns, particularly about God and sometimes being very angry and angry with God. They have not felt they could express their feelings because sometimes as a society, we're uncomfortable with that notion."
The Bradley Center for Grieving Children and Families will host an open house Jan. 15, the anniversary of the plane crash. CLICK HERE for more information.
E-mail: cmikita@ksl.com
