- Stephen Vargas, convicted of murdering his wife in 1995, seeks parole again.
- Victim's family opposes his release, doubting his remorse and fearing for their safety.
- Parole board decision expected in 2-4 weeks.
SALT LAKE CITY — Stephen Elliard Vargas says he still thinks every day about the crime that sent him to prison 30 years ago, in addition to feeling constant guilt.
"It never goes away," he said Tuesday. "I can't forgive myself, and it probably is never going to happen."
But the daughter of 27-year-old Rebecca "Becky" Vargas — killed by Stephen Vargas more than three decades ago — says he only pretends to sound remorseful and uses words such as "cowardly," "pathetic" and "insignificant" when talking about him, while also calling him a predator.
"You know you are, and I hope that sits with you every day," Madeline "Maddy" Dulebohn said.
On Dec. 27, 1995, Vargas bludgeoned his wife to death with a hammer in their Ogden apartment after she told him she wanted a divorce. During his trial, several witnesses testified that Vargas said numerous times he would rather kill his wife than let her leave.
Although he maintained his innocence throughout the trial, Vargas was convicted of murder and sentenced in 1996 to a a term of five years to life in the Utah State Prison. During his first parole hearing in 2016, Vargas admitted that he was responsible for Becky Vargas' death and claimed he was too embarrassed to admit before what he had done. At that time, the parole board ordered Stephen Vargas to serve 10 more years in prison before another parole hearing was held.
On Tuesday, Vargas, now 70, went before the board for the second time. He said jealousy, embarrassment and pride were the reasons he killed his wife.
"They were poor reasons, but those were the reasons at the time," he said.
Board member Dan Bokovoy, who conducted Tuesday's hearing, noted that Vargas has had a good discipline record while incarcerated.
But both Dulebohn and Sonja Rees — Becky Vargas' mother — strongly encouraged the board not to release him.
Dulebohn says she listened to a recording of Vargas' last parole hearing prior to Tuesday and believed that Vargas was just trying to say what the board wanted to hear because he wants to be released and that his remorse was "forced."
"Quite a show you tried to put on there," she said at one point.
Rees says her family still lives in fear 30 years later because of Vargas' actions.
"We all carry the emotional scars of what happened," she told the board. "The fear is not imagined. … We all know what he is capable of."
Both women also noted that Vargas stated at his last parole hearing that he would set up an account to begin paying restitution but that has yet to happen. Rees said that only points to Vargas' lack of remorse.
"It's not about money, it's about accountability," she said. "It shows he still does not take responsibility for what he did."
Vargas had his own short comments prepared in response to the two women.
"I am completely responsible for taking my wife's life, and there is no excuse for what I did," he read from the letter he prepared. "My remorse is real."
Vargas added after he finished reading his prepared comments that, "I am truly sorry for everything. I can't be a cryer; it doesn't work that way. I know what I've done. I can feel the pain of what I just heard … (it's) never going to go away what I did, and it's never going to go away how both families feel."
The board's decision whether to grant parole is expected to take two to four weeks.
