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SALT LAKE CITY -- The alleged abuse from pop singer Chris Brown on his girlfriend Rihanna has brought a lot of attention to domestic violence amongst teens. But how do abusive relationships start, and who sees more of the warning signs?
When it comes to dating violence among teens in Utah, officials from the Department of Health don't have solid statistics. Too few cases are officially reported. But a recent poll at Murray High School showed some scary numbers.
Violence Prevention Specialist Katie McMinn said, "When we did that survey, last month, 15 percent were victims of dating violence, just in Murray High School."
These scenarios didn't start off as violent. McMinn says many abusive relationships begin when one person tries to isolate another.
"A person can basically diminish relationships with friends and family. In a controlling relationship, things just get really broken down to where the victim just has no control," she said.
There are many factors as to why so few of these cases are reported. McMinn says victims want the abuser to change, or they are afraid to talk about it. Or, they might not realize they're in a bad relationship.
"Teenagers especially, they don't understand that it's even abusive. So it takes a while because first they have to have that recognition that it's abuse, that it's violent and unhealthy," she said.
Other precursors to physical, sexual or emotional abuse include manipulation, coercion, stalking and using text messages to constantly keep track of where the victim is.
Governor's Office on Domestic and Sexual Violence Director Ned Searle said, "I think the abuse that comes from that is the controlling part. It's the initial, beginning phases of that where they're manipulating that relationship to go to a certain direction."
Searle says teenage boys are experiencing these precursor signs of abuse just as often as teenage girls are. As adults, men make up most of the abusers, but Searle says they're noticing a change.
"We do know that more men are coming forward, which is often more difficult for them in that situation to say that they're abused," he said.
Searle says potential abusers may at first appear to be very charming and affectionate.
"The abuser will groom and put on their best face and bring that person and draw them into the relationship, then at which time those kinds of actions will start happening," he explained.
Searle says one out of every three teens is friends with someone who has been physically abused.
E-mail: pnelson@ksl.com
