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THE PITCH — I do not own a dog. I have never owned a dog and I do not plan on getting a dog any time soon. People mistake that for the fact I do not like dogs. This is not true.

The slander that has been thrown about so cavalier in regards to my name and my dislike for canines needs to stop. I did not have a dog growing up because my parents were very busy with five kids of their own and Puppy Chow gets expensive. I do not own one now, despite my kids daily pleas, because I have kids. They are enough work as it is. When they are gone maybe my wife and I will have a discussion about adding a dog to the family. For now, kids are more than enough.

That said, dogs are pretty great and one of my favorite breeds, without a doubt, is the corgi. My brother Alex recently adopted Keith, an adorable corgi that he brought to our Christmas celebration. Everyone fell in love with the corgi and quickly, no one cared about presents, food or human interaction. Why would you when Keith is around?

Keith is the reason I stopped when I saw this video from 2019 and he's the reason I hit play. Thank you, Keith. I am forever in your debt — I watched this 15-second video of the Corgi Nationals and my life will never be the same.

What is the Corgi Nationals you ask? I don't know. But I know enough and that is that a bunch of corgis race one another and you may just die of the massive amounts of adorable that slaps you in the face. Apparently corgis have the same attention span as my 8-year-old, which is not impressive. These dogs are just excited to be on the grass and could not care less about that line all the way at the other end of the field. Why would they worry about that when they have all this bounty around them. Sure, one dog won the race, but really, all of us won because this is a thing.

Thanks, Keith. Take care of Alex for me.